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<title>The Last Cookie Club</title>
<link>http://www.thelastcookieclub.com/blog/</link>
<description>This is an rss feed from The Last Cookie Club</description>
<pubDate>2010-05-20T07:43:24+01:00</pubDate>
<language>en-us</language>
<item>
<title>The Last Cookie Club Membership Program</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/61/the-last-cookie-club-membership-program.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[&#160;
&#160;
I &#160;will be starting a real Last Cookie Club Program very soon!!!&#160;Benefits of being a member of The Last Cookie Club will be.
1.&#160;Menu Plans for the following Diets:
A.&#160;Raw Food Diet
B.&#160;Vegan Diet
C.&#160;Vegetarian Diet
D. A Healthy Diet that&#160; Include Meats
2.&#160;Real&#160; Cookie Club Support Group Meetings you can view on the Website
3.&#160;Blogs
4.&#160;Forums
5.&#160;Inspirational Animated Video Sent to you Weekly.
6.&#160;Daily Routine for you to follow each day.
Follow this daily&#160;routine and expect to lose as much weight as you desire in a reasonable amount of time.
Cost of the program?&#160;Not yet determined, but I will make it affordable for all.
Send me your e-mail address and I will alert you when The Last Cookie Club Program begins.
gary@thelastcookieclub.com]]></description>
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<item>
<title>ONE MOMENT IN TIME</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/60/one-moment-in-time.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday I was having a very good day.
I exercised.
Had Warm Lemon Water (Alkalizing Drink)
Green Vegetable Drink for Breakfast
Did Some Deep Breathing (20 Minutes)
Spend Time with my 4 and 7 Yr old Grandchildren.&#160; Laughed and played with them.
However during the morning I had some reoccurring negative thoughts.&#160;&#160;Stock Market Issues, My Weight gain.&#160; Each time the negative thoughts came I up ,&#160; I would cancel them and then attempt to feel the feelings and let them pass.
However there came a Moment in Time when my daughter suggested we go out to lunch.&#160; I immediately said yes and proceeded to go on about a 3 hour binge after I decided to go to lunch with her.
If I would have said no or decided to have a normal lunch things may have taken a different direction yesterday.&#160; During this 3 hours binge I did some pretty serious eating and participated in&#160; the self destruction of my body and its organs.
Today I shall pay close attention to my thoughts and feelings and realize that they can lead to that moment in time where I make an unhealthy food choice for myself.&#160;&#160; I know by fully self expressing myself here on this blog, that these moments in time will be exposed and have less power over me.
I will talk to you tomorrow with hopefully a report of abstinent day.&#160; (refraining from eating in a compulsive manner).
Have a Healthy Day.
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>BINGE EATIG AS A RESULT OF NEGATIVE THINKING</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/59/binge-eatig-as-a-result-of-negative-thinking.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Dealing with Emotions without reacting to them with food.&#160; Was I able to to it yesterday?.
Here was my day:&#160; Had Lemon Juice and Warm Water as soon as I got up.&#160; (7:00 am) I have learned&#160;this believe it or not is the&#160; Best Food for Alkalizing our systems.&#160;
Made a green vegetable drink for breakfast
Lunch was a Salad and Organic Raw Food Tortillas.&#160; (purchased from our local Raw Food Restaurant.&#160; ( Yummy)
I had two support group meetings on the phone with my brother.
I also exercised and did some deep breathing exercises.
However during the day my thoughts wondered towards money issues and my weight problem.&#160; For most of the day I was aware of these thoughts and allowed them to be and subsequently let them pass.&#160; (like clouds in the sky)&#160; Awareness, Awareness, &amp; Awareness of my thoughts and not reacting to them worked very well.
That is Until&#160; 9:00 pm.&#160; When my EGO seemed to take over and I binged.&#160; Pretty good sized binge I might add.&#160; I was aware&#160;of what was happening to me.&#160; These were just thoughts and subsequent feelings in my body.&#160; That I could deal with them thru the help of my God and by simply not reacting to them.&#160; However the EGO won out on this issue last night and I binge ate .&#160; I will continue my quest to refrain from compulsive eating again today.&#160; I shall talk to you tomorrow.&#160; Not reacting to negative thoughts&#160; for the entire day will be my quest for this day.]]></description>
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<title>Stock Market Emotional Pressures &amp; Compulsive Eating</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/58/stock-market-emotional-pressures-compulsive-eating.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday the Stock Market went into some historic gyrations.&#160; Enough so that I have decided to quit playing the market.&#160; Each day the emotional pressure of being in the market led to my trying to suppress these emotions with food.
Typically this is what us compulsive over eaters do with our emotions.&#160; Attempt to suppress them with food.&#160; Naturally this is an unskilled manner to deal with emotions.
I am clearly aware that the most effective way to deal with emotions is to:
1. Observe the emotions
2.&#160; Calmly let them exist in&#160;my body &amp; mind.
3.&#160; Do not react to them.
4.&#160; Then watch them pass.
100% of the time emotions all pass.&#160; Be aware of that fact and not reacting to them can lead to some pretty positive results in our lives.
Starting on this &#160;day I will be blog virtually each day and&#160; share with you my emotions that come up.&#160;&#160;I will then &#160;calmly let them exist and then pass thru my body without reacting to them.&#160; Reacting to them many times means getting angry and&#160; or compulsively eating.
So here goes my attempt to lead a productive, peaceful and contributory life, by dealing with my emotions in a skillful manner.]]></description>
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<title>Six Steps to Dealing with Emotions</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/57/six-steps-to-dealing-with-emotions.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Today I would like to give you an idea of how I am handling emotional situations instead of running to the refrigerator to suppress.
Maybe I have had emotional day, whereby,&#160; 1.&#160; The water heater broke. &#160;2. Someone disagreed with me.&#160; 3.&#160; I was afraid to talk to a group of people.&#160; etc etc.&#160; At the end of the day I&#160;felt&#160; anxiety and did not know how to process it without suppressing with food.
Here are six steps I now use to deal with this anxiety.
1.&#160; Be aware of the Sensation
2.&#160; Locate the Sensation in my Body (usually in my chest)
3.&#160; Feel the Emotion
4.&#160; Get up and do something physical
5.&#160; Then tell somebody about it.
6.&#160; Reward Yourself.&#160; (not with food)
This little process is saving me from many binges!!!!!]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>BE AWARE OF RESENTMENTS</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/56/be-aware-of-resentments.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Today I would like to discuss the importance of being aware of resentments and how it relates to overeating.&#160;&#160; The number one reason&#160;we compulsive overeaters risk relapsing and returning to destructive eating, is resentments.
During this past week I have noticed&#160; resentments of mine such as: Resentment against myself for&#160;getting angry at people in the past,&#160;mishandling money matters,being lazy and procrastinating,&#160; not having the courage to accomplish certain tasks,&#160; being jealous of other people's success.&#160; If I fail to recognize these resentments on a daily basis, my mind stores these resentments.&#160; They then build up over time and I am in the refrigerator having no idea why I am bingeing on food once again.&#160; My advice to you is keep a daily journal of your resentments&#160; so you can be aware of how your mind is attempting to trap you into suffering and then eating.]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Will Today be the Day?</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/55/will-today-be-the-day-.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I did the radio show yesterday.&#160;My two guests,&#160;Sue and Sharon, are doing great. They are eating in an abstinent manner each day and have very good clarity on their emotions and spirituality.
&#160;
As for me, I am still bingeing and feeling miserable.&#160;Will today be the day I abstain from eating unhealthy foods? Will today be the day I have emotional and spiritual balance?&#160; God willing, let's hope so!&#160; It's getting difficult to breathe and move my body around each day.&#160;During some moments of the day, I am able to pretend this does not really bother me.&#160;Believe me, it does.
&#160;
Talk to you tomorrow. I know I can do this and I will.&#160; 
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Powerless Over Food</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/54/powerless-over-food.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[When I work the&#160;12 steps, the first step is to recognize that I am powerless over food and that my life has become unmanageable.&#160;(Humility.)
&#160;
Another step in the&#160;program is to recognize character defects that I may have.&#160;Some of mine are:&#160; 
&#160;
Anger
Things need to go my way
Selfishness
Self-seeking
Dishonesty
Being inconsiderate.&#160;
&#160;
I am noticing that I am powerless over these character defects also.&#160;When I use my own will to try to change these habits, it seems to be a daunting task.
&#160;
When I exhibit these character defects, I&#160;create unpleasant&#160;emotions. Subsequently, I turn to food to extinguish these emotions.
&#160;
I can see that I am powerless over both food and the aforementioned character defects. So I am on my knees nowadays praying to God for the willingness to have him remove not only the food obsessions but the character defects that directly lead to these obsessions.
&#160;
May we all be abstinent today. ]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Three Elements of Abstinence</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/53/three-elements-of-abstinence.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Today I would like to jot down a few lines about what abstinence means to me.&#160;There are three aspects:
&#160;
Physical:&#160; Refraining&#160; from eating foods that are not healthy for me. Refraining from eating past the point of being satiated, even if I am eating healthy foods.
&#160;
Emotional:&#160; Being balanced emotionally. Accepting situations in my life with calmness and equanimity.&#160;Not going off the deep end and making a mountain out of a mole hill when situations do not go as I planned (followed by compulsive eating).
&#160;
Spiritual Balance: Being in touch each day with&#160;God's will for me and not forcing my will on situations. Asking the simple question, "What would God have me do in any given event?"
&#160;
Focusing on these three aspects of abstinence keeps me in a peaceful state of mind whereby I can enjoy my life one day at a time.
&#160;
May we all be peaceful. 
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Recent Binge</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/52/recent-binge.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I am just returning from a recent binge.&#160;I have been off my sensible/healthy eating plan for approximately the last 30 days.&#160;I ate some good healthy meals and then I would jump off the cliff (so to speak) and dive into&#160;unhealthy eating patterns for several meals.&#160;
Is it my intention to eat good clean healthy foods on a consistent basis?&#160;Yes it is.&#160;I think what I have re-learned on this last eating binge is this: When things do not go my way,&#160;I have a tendency to become agitated&#160;and then&#160;try to force events to go the way I desire.&#160;For me, trying to force things to go my way leads to uncomfortable feelings&#160;and I then turn to food to quiet these feelings.
&#160;
If I use my will to conduct my life it leads to a pretty rocky road for me. If I turn my life over to the care of&#160; "The God of My Understanding," the road to the peace I am looking for seems to be much more attainable.
&#160;
If I remain calm, practice acceptance&#160;and&#160;then ask God to let me know what is his/her will for me, then peace more often than not prevails throughout my body.&#160;Subsequently, the desire to self-destruct with food disappears.
&#160;
I guess to sum&#160;up as succinctly as possible,&#160;it helps me to:
&#160;
Get on my knees &#160;each day and ask that I remember to serve God and do his/her will for me in each situation that arises during the day
&#160;
Sounds simple enough&#160;(and a much&#160;less stressful&#160;way for me to live my life).
&#160;
May we all be abstinent from eating unhealthy foods on this day.
&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Keep Your Family Close, Keep Your Food Plan Closer</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/51/keep-your-family-close-keep-your-food-plan-closer.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[This is Sue's last guest blog (for now). Gary will be back tomorrow.&#160;
Five weeks today. I am celebrating five full weeks of abstinence, as defined by no compulsive eating. Yes, I have tasted a few things outside of my food plan, but that is the key word, tasted. Not compulsively shoveling it in, not mindlessly eating, not overloading my stomach and my system with sugars and carbs.
&#160;
I ate a cupcake at Brin’s party, and later, a piece of the big cake. Very sweet, delightfully so. It triggered so many compulsions that I couldn’t count, but what I could do was be very, very aware. It was hard to walk away, to not have two or three other pieces. To know that the cake was there, that I could, if I wanted, “sneak” some after everyone was in bed. But then I really heard what these voices, these compulsive disease tools were saying. No, not saying, they were screaming. Wow! In the past I would have easily given in. I would have had a much bigger piece of cake the first time, and then yes, I probably would have eaten more after the lights were out. It took deep breathing, determination, awareness and a re-commitment to abstinence every fifteen minutes or so to keep from lifting that cake plate lid.
&#160;
The next day I still had a little sugar high, but was able to bring it under control with a balance of protein at breakfast. And I was back on track. Yes, the cake was still there, as were the chips, their oily saltiness calling to me from their Costco-size bag. Turkey roll-ups stocked the fridge (I’m not the only one with scarcity issues; we made enough for twice the number at the party). But we were headed to a seafood feast for dinner, and I saved as much of my food plan for the day as I could. 
&#160;
There is a place in Bellevue called the Crabpot. It’s a restaurant that brings the seafood to you in huge bowls, and dumps it on the paper-draped table in front of you. The cutlery and plates consist of wooden boards, seafood forks, a hammer and a claw cracker. Mixed into the wonderfully steamed and seasoned shrimp, crab legs, mussels and clams are chunks of potatoes, corn-on-the-cob and sliced spicy sausage. Of course, there is the huge loaf of hot French bread and individual cups of melted butter. Sounds like a compulsive over-eater’s heaven. But, it takes work to get the meat out of a crab leg, or to peel the shrimp. It slows down the eating a lot, gives you time to talk and laugh and not just concentrate on shoveling it in. Clams and mussels are very small bites, and what seems like a huge amount of food, when all the shells are thrown back into the bowl conveniently sitting behind you, comes down to a very reasonable amount of food to eat. The half a potato and the few bites of sausage, plus three pieces of corn (adding up to almost a full ear) rounded out the meal, and when I made an accurate count of what I ate, it was really still within my food plan. The whole meal was designed to give the most taste and sensory values (I’ve mentioned that I like eating with my fingers) possible. 
&#160;
So now that I’ve made everyone hungry, which really isn’t the point of the blog, I’ll move on to more mundane things such as an early Thanksgiving dinner. Instead of a whole turkey, we had a small turkey roast, used one box of quick stuffing mix, really good veggies and of course, the requisite mashed potatoes and gravy. As I did the shopping, and then the cooking, the scarcity gene/tool kept creeping in. Was there enough? How could the (now) three of us eat this small amount? 
&#160;
I placed a ½ cup measuring cup next to my plate. It’s amazing how easy it is to be sucked into the big scoops, so I measured carefully. Nice, normal, ½ cup servings of the carb foods, the “deck of cards” of the turkey and fill the plate with veggies. It worked! By the end of the meal, I was truly full.
&#160;
I am continually surprised when I am successful, especially out of the “controlled” environment of home. But this trip has been a success in every way, from the time with my family and my granddaughter, to the celebration of her birth, to not letting food—preparing, eating or obsessing about it—interfere with the joy of the week. 
&#160;
May you have a blessed and abstinent day. I know mine will be.
&#160;
Sue
&#160;

&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Sensory - or Sensitivity - Overload</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/50/sensory-or-sensitivity-overload.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Note: While Gary is on vacation, this is another entry from guest blogger Sue:
Today we celebrate the first birthday of an amazing miracle called Brin. But then, all babies are miraculous, and each one is a miracle within their own family. I also want to give a hooray to my son-in-law who now has four generations of females, ranging in age from 1 to 82 under one roof. He is showing remarkable patience, grace and adaptability, especially as the pressure builds up towards getting ready for Brin’s party.
&#160;
Yesterday was a day of overload. I think it started the night before when we decided to play dominoes until 1:00 a.m. We had fun, even if our eyes were blurring at the end, and what surprised me was, as we staggered off to bed, there were no empty dishes to rinse that had held ice cream or cake, no cookie or chip crumbs to brush away or dominoes gluing themselves to sticky fingers. Somewhat of a first for me, and my family as a whole. Fun nights, game nights, usually come with food. No, not just food. Trigger and compulsive foods that can be eaten mindlessly and endlessly, often with the fingers which somehow increases the sensory enjoyment.
&#160;
Morning (still tired) hours were spent getting ready for Brin’s one-year checkup, and then off to do some shopping. This was my first trip actually into an Ikea store. And talk about sensory overload! First, it is one of the most family-friendly stores I’ve ever been in. It’s also a place that if you happen to get locked in for a night, you might not want to ever leave. It’s family-friendly starting with rows of “family” parking closest to the entrance (lots of SUVs with car seats parked there). 
&#160;
It was way after lunch-time so we headed straight to their cafeteria-type lunchroom. Again, not only did they have a huge supply of high chairs, but also sani-wipes for table tops and chairs. There are wire carts to place multiple trays for transporting to a table, and the parents with strollers and children could push them with one hand. Then there is the food. They were having a special – penne pasta with vegetarian marinara sauce for 99 cents. Perfect for my food plan, I thought. No cheese, bread or other inducements came with it. Hah! There were probably 3, if not 4 cups of pasta in that bowl, with a huge helping of an incredible sauce that included identifiable veggies within it. And not a take-home box in the place. My mother and daughter both had the Ikea Swedish meatballs, which came with Lingonberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy. I think there were possibly 12 meatballs on each plate, and they weren’t small. Brin found Swedish meatballs to be one of her new favorite foods, easy for her to chew on toothless gums. They also had a “princess cake” which neither one could eat because of the intense sweetness. I didn’t take a bite, knowing what it would trigger for me.
&#160;
We went in search of the two items on our list, which took us through their food section. Again, sensory overload with their signature cookies, candy, jellies, et al. I wanted to buy them all. And before starting on my road to abstinence, I would have made a good head start in doing so. It was a turn-around moment for me, just realizing what I wanted to do versus what I would choose to do. Of course, Brin now has a whole stuffed elephant family (I had to buy something!) and I can’t wait to get my hands on an Ikea catalog once I’m home.
&#160;
Costco was next. Costco, in the afternoon, with sample carts is a daunting place to be. Lots of samples, and yes, I did taste some of them. But I chose which ones, not just eating them because they were there. Finished shopping, didn’t get the 8-lb. chocolate cake or even taste the small éclair samples. Brin now has a rocking horse (but that came from her great-grandma). We bought a rotisserie chicken and one of my disease tools—scarcity/deprivation came roaring in. One chicken? We’d starve! Of course, one chicken was more than enough, especially with me sticking to my food plan. It took some conscious effort on my part to move through the messages I was getting, but I did. 
&#160;
So I will start my day by frosting 23 cupcakes (there seems to be one missing but that wasn’t from me!), helping to decorate the main cake, making turkey and cream cheese roll ups and being in a room with 10 babies and their parents. It’s going to be fun, Brin will come home tired and probably a little cranky, and we will let ourselves drift a bit. The challenge will be for me not to drift into mindlessness, or let sensory overload take me down the road of compulsive eating. 
&#160;
So, only for today, I will be mindful and sensitive, letting the joy of the day fill me more than food ever could.
&#160;
Have a wonderful, abstinent day. 
&#160;
Sue

&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Abstinence on Vacation</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/49/abstinence-on-vacation.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Note: This is the second day of Sue's guest blog. 
&#160;
If there was a day that could have derailed my abstinence efforts, it was yesterday. First, I hate to pack, simply because I don’t want to forget something I might need, so end up with a whole lot more in the suitcases than I should have. Luckily I fly with an airline that doesn’t charge for luggage. I did compromise by putting one pair of dress pants back in the closet. Forgot the umbrella. Yep – came to Seattle and forgot my umbrella. Wonder if I can buy one anyplace…
&#160;
Anyway, the trip to the airport wasn’t as traumatic as I thought it would be, probably because it is was a government and school holiday. And maybe a couple of businesses were shut down in honor of Veteran’s Day. Side note: veterans were allowed to board first with almost everyone’s thanks. 
&#160;
I knew going to the airport that my plane had been delayed, only by 30 minutes but still a frustration. And the lessons I learned on Tuesday about over-eating and frustration were about to be re-examined. The airport was crowded, I was flying out of B gates instead of C. Not usually a problem, but the selection of food items at B gates is less than conducive to any real food plan, let alone mine. I had a flight that would include lunch time, and not wanting to eat lunch mid-morning or mid-afternoon, I planned to buy something healthy to eat to take on the plane. What I found were fast food hamburgers and burritos, as well as a wall of plastic-bagged snacks ranging from chips to candy to “healthy” trail mix with only 480 calories per ounce. Starbucks had three sandwiches left in their cooler, below the full and diverse display of processed carbs and sugars in all their wonderfully chocolate, sweet glory.
&#160;
And that’s when the voice hit me. “Hey,” it said, “you’re on vacation. You’ve been good for weeks. That chocolate brownie would taste really good with a venti peppermint mocha.” And the voice was right, at least partly so. I was on vacation. But my eating plan, my compulsive eating, my addiction to sugars and processed foods, were not on vacation. In the past 30 days I have come to realize that they will never take a vacation. They will always be right there in the little nudge to fudge, taking a little bigger helping, getting a double whopper at the Mayo King or buying the double chocolate brownie. I know that eventually I will be able to control some of my addiction – I will get to have a piece of cake or mashed potatoes and stuffing, but not yet. My journey of abstinence is still very new and needs to be nourished, not with food but with success.
&#160;
So I’m on vacation and I plan to have a really great time. My granddaughter Brin is the sweetest, cutest, smartest almost-one-year-old baby in the world and I’m going to enjoy every minute I’m with her. And none of that time is going to be spent wallowing in the self-imposed guilt of over-eating.
&#160;
Here’s to a day of blessings, a day of abstinence, and a day of blessed abstinence.
&#160;
&#160;
Sue

&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Sue's Guest Blog</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/48/sue-s-guest-blog.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Hi, this is Sue. I will be filling in for Gary this week while he's on vacation.
I’m beginning my fifth week of abstinence. Wow! It has been fairly easy and certainly worthwhile. Easy, I think, because of the support of Gary who has become a mentor, coach, and support team all rolled into one. Worthwhile speaks for itself in feeling healthier, more energetic, and not struggling to zip the jeans (already!). 
&#160;
Yesterday I was asked if keeping track of the days of abstinence was counter-intuitive to the practice of one day at a time. Yes, it can be, but I also think it’s good to remind myself of success. I don’t look down the road 60 or 120 days, I don’t even look to day 30. I’m okay with today, day 29, and I am pleased with the 28 days that I have been abstinent. If something happens and I “go to a black hole” as Gary has done this past week, I can look at the success of the last 28 days as an affirmation that abstinence can be achieved, that I don’t have to reside in the black hole. I have read Gary’s blogs this week as he struggled to climb back out of the hole. I watched him at the radio station as he spoke to his audience of his struggle and I believe him when he says that he can and will get back on the abstinent road.
&#160;
Gary and I are headed to opposite ends of the Pacific Coast for vacations. Guess I have better access to a computer than he does so I get to be the guest blogger. Of course, anytime I can get a point across without any interruptions, I’m in a happy place. Gary and I will definitely have different challenges. He will be at a resort, at the mercy of what is available in restaurant and fast food settings. I will be at my daughter’s, with minimal outside challenges. She is supportive of my abstinence and has spent a great deal of time planning with me for healthy eating. I have found an OA meeting close to her home and she asked if she could go with me. I’ll share the literature, and if she wants to, she can read my daily blogs. Of course, since I’ll be there to celebrate my granddaughter’s first birthday, I’ll want to at least have a small piece of her (homemade) carrot cake. Actually we are going to have cupcakes, but it’s still a trigger food with the processed flour and sugar. Teresa said that whatever I choose will be fine, Brin won’t care if I have cake or not and Teresa is prepared to support me in remaining abstinent (not becoming compulsive by continuing to eat cake or anything else beyond my food plan) if I do have a cupcake. I’ll just make sure it is figured in my food plan for the day.
&#160;
We’ll be going out for dinner a couple of times, seafood of course. I’m going to be in Seattle after all. Lots of steamed shellfish, the kind that is dumped out on a paper-covered table along with potatoes, corn on the cob and a basket of fresh rolls. Then there is the free birthday prime rib at The Keg—my kids signed me up and I got the coupon a couple of weeks ago. An early—and traditional—Thanksgiving on Sunday so we can celebrate together as a family. Seems like a pretty strong focus on food for the next 8 days. 
&#160;
So I will be blogging on these challenges. If I don’t meet the challenge, if I go off of my food plan, I will deal with it, write about it and start again the next day. I will continue to call in my food plan to Gary each day, and I will keep the tools of recovery as close at hand as the list of the “voices” of my ego, psyche, subconscious, whatever I call them at any given time, those voices that tell me I’m much better off eating rather than feeling. I have learned to recognize them much faster these past four weeks, and with recognition comes choice. And I will choose….

&#160;]]></description>
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<title>Radio Show Today</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/47/radio-show-today.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[This afternoon we will be doing our radio show and discussing compulsive overeating and how to get past it.
&#160;
Please tune in to KLAV 1230 AM on your radio.&#160; If you want to listen on the net, visit &#160;www.klav1230am.com
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Time:&#160; 4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. PST every Tuesday. I hope you will listen in. We have two special guests this week!
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I will be on vacation starting tomorrow. I will try to see if I can get my friend Sue to do some blogging while I am gone.
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My wife and I are taking our daughter and our grandkids to Disneyland. While gone I intend to stay abstinent even at Disneyland!]]></description>
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<title>Return to Wonderfully Calm Waters</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/46/return-to-wonderfully-calm-waters.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I made it! Yesterday I ate three healthy vegan meals.&#160;My emotions and spirituality were balanced.&#160; It feels so good to return to sanity.&#160;I spent the last five days on the dark side of my life.&#160; 
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The ego loves the drama&#160;of binge&#160;eating, feeling miserable and complaining about it.&#160;I simply bought into its seduction and have happily returned to my senses.&#160;I also discovered that one of the reasons I binged&#160;was that I have a certain amout of fear of being too successful. I was so much&#160;enjoying my 40 days of abstinence that&#160;it felt strange to me.&#160; As much&#160;as I&#160;do not like to admit this, a certain fear of success permeated my body and I tried to get rid of this feeling with excess food.&#160;
&#160;
This abstinent day was&#160;yesterday.&#160;My goal is to be sane today.&#160;As they say in all the 12-step programs:&#160;"One day at a time."
&#160;
I guess one thing that I learned from these past five days is that, yes, indeed, the ego is clever.&#160; Even more&#160;enlightening&#160;to me is to realize that the ego is not intelligent.&#160;Of course, it will try to convince us that it is intelligent, but&#160;believe me, my experience is this&#160;is not true.&#160;It is short-sighted and self consuming.&#160;I am not complaining about the ego, just acknowledging the reality of its existence&#160;and&#160;accepting it. If I just learn this one lesson from this last binge, then&#160;it will have been worth it to me.
&#160;
I thank everyone for giving me their support, prayers and love over this past five days of &#160;insanity. &#160; 
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I am now back to not only willing to receive support, but to gratefully give it back.&#160;So if anyone out there needs support from me with regards to your compulsive over eating -&#160; just ask.
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May we all be healthy!]]></description>
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<title>Dangerous Waters Day 5</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/45/dangerous-waters-day-5.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday was day number five of living on the dark side of my life. I compulsively&#160;ate, ate, and ate&#160;throughout the day. I am starting to gain weight back and starting rapidly to lose the wonderful energy and spiritual bliss&#160;I developed.&#160;&#160;
&#160;
On the positive side, I did continue&#160;to stay connected to other people that I am working with in this program. I did some isolating but it was&#160;not total isolation of myself from others. I reached out and spoke with maybe ten people yesterday. Everyone offered their loving support.
&#160;
However, at the end of the day, I&#160;alone need to take the action of refraining from eating compulsively.&#160; As one person put it, "The food did not jump up into my mouth&#160;by itself." I&#160; alone&#160; took the action of eating unhealthy and putting this food into my mouth.. 
&#160;
What am I going to do?&#160; I am going to do what I know. I am going to&#160;continue&#160;to move forward towards abstinence.&#160;My ego has its many conversations in my mind about self sabotaging this great program of abstinence from compulsive eating. More importantly, my&#160;ego mind wants&#160;me&#160;to dwell in&#160;emotional and spiritual emptiness.&#160; I am well aware that my ego does not want me to succeed in this endeavor and is pulling out all the stops. It feels like it is in control of me during this past five-day binge. I listened to some Eckert Tolle CD's the other day. He says,"The ego mind &#160;is clever, but it is not intelligent. The ego is short-sighted and wants its gratification right now."&#160;My ego is demonstrating to me, during the past five days, that it indeed does have its clever ways of keeping me off track. I can&#160;see with certainty that this is not intelligent. 
&#160;
However,&#160; I do know with certainty that behind this ego control for the past five days is&#160;my&#160;true self.&#160;The self that is really joyous and compassionate towards myself and others.The self that is kind,&#160;generous and&#160; loving. I sense that the real self that I experienced during the recent forty days of abstinence is still there waiting for me to tap into it, so that&#160;I &#160;can continue blossoming once again.&#160;It felt wonderful when I was blossoming. It felt wonderful to refrain from compulsively eating, to have energy, and to make&#160;meaningful&#160;connections with others.
&#160;
When will I get out of my ego mind and restart living from my heart?&#160;Hopefully it will be today. I know staying connected to others and my God is a key to doing this. I know&#160;that not reacting to my ego mind&#160;and accepting that yes it does exist,&#160;is a must for my recovery.&#160;I know that&#160;calmly&#160; observing this&#160;insanity the&#160;past five days is&#160;a necessary part of my transcending from these dangerous waters back to the calm waters. Staying connected to others, to my God and calmly observing without reacting to this storm,&#160;is the remedy for me.&#160;I would like to&#160;restate here once&#160;again, that, for me, the suffering mind does exist and it is nothing to really go off the deep end about. I believe we&#160;all have the suffering, egoic mind and it can be transcended when we remain&#160;calm, remain acceptng, observe and have a non-reactive mindset towards these sufferings&#160;of &#160;the mind.&#160; I know that these negative thoughts and emotions are always impermanent. Therefore it is not necessary to react to the cleverness of the egoic mind. This may sound like I am getting a little deep here and doing some preaching,&#160;but&#160;hey, for me, desperate times call for more concentrated measures. I am in deep waters here and swimming for my life.
&#160;
I am committed to continue writing about this situation, since writing and expressing and not hiding out is a part of the recovery of this&#160;compulsive eating disease that some of us possess. It is not quite as simple as "just think positive" and everything will change for the better.&#160;This compulsive disease that some of us possess is clever, cunning, and baffling. Can it be overcome?&#160;I believe it can.&#160;Will it be today?&#160; If that is God's plan for me, then yes.&#160;I certainly am willing &#160;to do my part. 
&#160;
If you are experiencing tough times yourself, I pray that we get through this together. I will talk to you tomorrow.
&#160;
Have&#160;a peaceful day. ]]></description>
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<title>Still Emotionally Overeating</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/44/still-emotionally-overeating.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday was the third day in a row of emotionally overeating. This morning I got up @ 6:00 a.m. and started eating chips and cheese dip. Not a very auspicious beginning to this day.
&#160;
I spoke to a friend this morning and she helped me to recommit to getting &#160;back on this truly remarkable abstinence journey that I have begun.
&#160;
So here goes my day.&#160;I am going to do some reading about abstinence this morning,&#160;and then some writing. Next I am&#160;going to a meeting for fellow compulsive overeaters, and going to try to stay in touch with people today; stay connected and not isolate myself with this very miserable disease I have.
&#160;
I also intend to do a quite a bit of meditating.&#160;Maybe two hours or so. Also going to the gym.
&#160;
I want very much to stay and be abstinent today.&#160; Even though I started out this day with chips and cheese dip @ 6:00 a.m.
&#160;
You are going to see one happy camper when I get through this storm. Thus far the storm has lasted just over three days!&#160; I used to live in Wisconsin on a farm. I have some experience weathering storms.
&#160;
I hope you all have an abstinent day!]]></description>
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<title>Dangerous Waters Day 2</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/43/dangerous-waters-day-2.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday, I had a couple of great healthy meals and my third meal of the day I returned to wine and unhealthy foods. This is really a dangerous pattern to develop. It can start the ball rolling towards throwing the towel in and saying "what's the use." Next I could start eating unhealthy all day long which can then turn into eating unhealthy for weeks and even months. Hello to a brand new 50&#160;pounds of weight gain!

However, I would be very surprised if that happened this time. I am not isolating myself and keeping this my little eating secret. Interacting with others regarding this subject is a great deal different than keeping this to myself and hiding out and bingeing.

I also noticed that it is helpful to notice how much I think about myself. Pretty much every thought in my mind is self centered. When events happen I automatically relate them to how it affects me. So my goal for today is to stay on my program of exercising, eating healthy, staying in touch with the people in my eating program and noticing how much I am thinking about myself. Then try to focus on the present moment and enjoy the scenery. It probably is going to be a challenge not thinking about myself all day long and how each event is going to have an affect on me, myself, and I. 

My guess is that less selfish and self-seeking thinking will lead to more peace, serenity and feeling joyful. 

Have an abstinent day everyone!

&#160;]]></description>
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<title>A Dangerous Day</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/42/a-dangerous-day.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I am in a bit of a mess today and I am going to see if it helps to write my way out of it. 
Last night I completely broke down. I started with a left over bag of potato chips. Then convinced my wife to break out the wine, corn chips and cheese.
I proceeded to have a pretty miserable binge. I have got a familiar food hangover this morning. Pretty awful feeling. I was so much enjoying life and being abstinent. Seems like a good thing for me to do is examine the tools of my ego and then look to see which of the tools I bought into last night. I have memorized the tools so first I am just going to write them down from memory and then look at which of the tools I decided to listen to and react to. I am feeling fairly depressed, in despair, disappointed, frustrated, and worried at this moment. 
Let me see if I can write myself out of this mood. I do know for certain that all emotions are impermanent, that they will pass, and it is much healthier to be an observer and not react to these emotions by eating. Which in the past is what I certainly would be doing right about now. The fact that I am writing now is a step in the right direction for me. So thanks for being here to listen.

Here are the tools that my ego likes to use, in order to get me to compulsively eat:

1. Fear Of rejection
2. Procrastination
3. Isolation
4. Being negative about myself and others
5. This is boring, not any fun, I do not get to fully self express (when I am being a good boy and eating my veggies)
6. I am afraid I may hurt someone's feelings, I am afraid of what others may think of me
7. There is not enough. (Money, time, attention, love, etc.)
8. Worry about the past.
9. Worry about the future
10. Being self-centered or lapsing&#160;into self pity
11. I am inferior or I am superior (self hatred or arrogance)
12. I need things to go "my way"
13. I always need to "look good"
14. Confusion (my ego says this emotional situation does not have an answer)
15. Resentments
16. Forgot about God or the Universe for&#160;help
17. Daydreaming - Thinking about anything but the present moment
18. Fear of success or fear of failure (self sabotage - could be one or the other or both)

So why did I binge last night?
#5 Comes to mind first. This eating healthy is boring, I am not having any fun.
It is pretty humorous that this one comes up again. Truth be told, the last 40 days of eating healthy, abstaining from compulsively eating and interacting with many many people has been 40 of the most enjoyable days I have ever experienced. So clearly, the "this is boring" conversation is just an illusion of my ego.

#4 Being negative about myself and others: &#160;I started watching the news last night and started buying into the demise of certain people that they were talking about (politicians). I felt a little twinge of guilt, revenge, pessimism and maybe irritation towards certain politicians that were being discussed. That is when I immediately went to the pantry and grabbed the potato chips. So buying into my ego's game of being negative about others was one of the seductions that I bought into last night. Now I feel guilty!

#11. I am inferior and I am superior: Yesterday I was thinking about how much fun this program I am on really is. How much I enjoy speaking at the meetings I go to, writing, reading and even having the courage to be on the radio. I did a lot of thinking about me, me, and me. Feeling a little over-confident. At the same time, I had something yacking in the back of my mind that said you are not going to be going anywhere. The eating binges will return and you will once again be immobilized and end up eating on the couch for weeks or months; then watching as the world goes by.

I am starting to get bummed out here looking at this stuff that my mind was thinking.

#16 Forget about God or the Universe for Help:&#160; Last night I did not want to think about anyone helping me. Asking God for help was not even an option. Probably because he may have helped me if I asked for it. 

This is actually pretty messy thinking. I am not sure if it is helping. But I can clearly see that if I buy into the games that my ego plays that life is pretty damn messy. I certainly am aware that this negative thinking is just an illusion of my ego. Not really true. But what I like about looking at the negativity is admitting that yes, my mind does go into these suffering areas. Admitting that my mind has the capability of being ignorant, illusionary, likes to attach itself to pleasure, and yearns to avoid misery. Trying to deny that these events can take place in my mind just keeps me in denial of reality.

The best thing for me to do right about now is simply BE AWARE OF THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, REMAIN CALM, OBSERVE THEM, DO NOT REACT, WATCH AS THE IMPERMANENCE OF THIS NEGATIVITY RISES AND FALLS. Then go on with my day happily as I am learning to free myself from the insane part of the mind. During the last 40 days I have experienced doing this. It is really gratifying to successfully go through this process without resorting to food. God be with me today.

May everyone experience abstinence today.
&#160;]]></description>
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<title>Procrastination and Self Pity</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/41/procrastination-and-self-pity.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[This morning my ego wants me to see procrastination and self pity (and of course react to it).

The procrastination part of my ego wants me to not write this blog this morning. It said "lets do it tomorrow. You have been doing it everyday, taking off one day won't hurt."

I just did a workout in my gym at my house and when I finished the water bottle, it was empty. My procrastination said,"Let's not refill the water bottle right now. We have to write the blog. Lets fill the water bottle up tomorrow morning." 

I am glad to say that I am not procrastinating in either item. I am just observing my ego's desire to procrastinate and not reacting to it. Instead I am calmly working through the anxious and lazy feelings of procrastination and acting in a calm manner. I filled the water bottle right away and am glad to say I am writing this blog. 

Also, my ego wants me to feel some self pity this morning. I have had a couple of unhealthy meals that were not on my wonderful abstinence program the last two days. My body does not feel as "chipper" this morning as it usually does. I feel the affects of the unhealthy meals. Consequently, my ego wants to invade my body with feelings of self pity. I am now more aware of the antics of my ego. It really wants me to stop all activity, sit on the couch,vegetate, and start eating. Fortunately, I am aware nowadays when my ego says, "Lets play the self pity game. You have done all this wonderful abstinence work, ate a couple of bad meals and now you feel lethargic already. What's the use? All this hard work is not worth the effort."

Today (thank you Lord), I am not buying into the procrastination and self pity game. I am acknowledging that yes, I do have these negative thoughts this morning, and the subsequent uncomfortable feelings. However, I am not reacting to them. Just accepting them as a part of the natural suffering mind that we all possess.

I am clearly aware that acknowledging the suffering mind and not reacting to it, is a very useful tool for me to use in purifying the suffering mind and reducing and or even eliminating its occurrence. 

Calmly acknowledging it and allowing it to pass. Then moving on to experiencing what I expect to be another day of abstinence. Which to me is refraining from compulsive overeating, eating healthy foods, not reacting to the suffering mind in an unhealthy manner. Then I can create space to see the wonderful part of this glorious day and live in gratitude that I am no longer a slave to the negative side of my being.

May we all be happy today!
&#160;]]></description>
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<title>Sue's Story</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/40/sue-s-story.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[This afternoon we do the radio show on KLAV 1230 AM @ 4:00 pm, or you can listen on the web @ ww.klav1230am.com. Our show addresses compulsive eating and offers hope in overcoming this issue.
I am working with a lady named Sue who is also looking at ways in which her ego attempts to seduce her into overeating to deal with life's issues. She shares with me each day via e-mail the different games that her ego likes to use. This is her story that she wrote about today. It is so poignant that I wanted to use it for the blog today. Fear, Success, Sabotage. As a result of the belowstory I have added this one to my list that the ego uses on me.
I have asked Sue to be a guest on the show today. Please feel free to listen in at 4:00 to 5:00 pm today.
Good morning Gary. This is my final tool. I think all of my tools have a few subheadings to them, devious little strategies to get in under the wire. But as I recognize these as the major "voices," then I will be aware of the little cogs that make up a whole disease tool and stop them.
I've been writing these for 21 days. It has been an incredibly successful exercise. Let me know how it can continue, because it's been healthy for me and you have said you have found value also. Personally, I wouldn't mind going back over the tools, revisiting them and even exploring how I am overcoming each one. Maybe throwing in a little "success" story of the day.
Strangely, I am looking forward to this afternoon. I say strangely because I'm trying not to be terrified. Brian talked with me about it a little bit, we agree that I won't have any fear of the mic and if I stay focused I'm not going to create two minutes of dead air. Of course, if I go blank you get to fill in and don't hesitate to supply a word if I falter.
Setup for Failure
Fear of Success
Sabotage
To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can sabotage my eating plan without my consent.
Okay, this is the biggie. My repeat pattern. I can’t say I consciously set myself up for failure, but the results I experience over and over pretty much tell me that I do. Why? This was talked about on the counselor’s couch as I sat huddled in its corner, clutching a box of Kleenex, lamenting all that was in my life to make me a failure. And to make sure that success remained elusive, I set myself up for failure. Over and over.
One area of my life that this has manifested itself as “failure,”actually entrenched itself, has been my compulsive eating. I can look at myself and have positive reinforcement of my failure. I can eat a whole carton of Ben and Jerry’s and know that I have failed, once again, in my quest. I can grab a bakery container of brownies or chocolate éclairs and bring them home, hiding the food in the freezer and throwing away the receipt. And I know I will fail again when I eat them. Funny story – not too long ago I put some donut holes in the freezer. My husband thought they were sausage meat balls and put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes. Neither one of us got to eat what we wanted.
So the many times I have tried to diet, to get to a normal weight, to be healthy, have really allowed me to simply set myself up even more. Because within a few days or a few weeks, I would fail. There were two times that I did get to a very healthy weight. I reached a “perfect” weight a year before my grandmother died. Her death devastated me, and the eating began. The second time, I worked very hard – diet and exercise, running, anything I could to lose weight. I had a teenager and a 12-year-old, I just started a “career” (my words during the interview) rather than just a job and I quit smoking after 20 years.
So what happened? I got pregnant (our 20th anniversary surprise). Well, let me tell you what a pregnancy does to an almost-40 woman’s metabolism, not to mention giving up one habit (smoking) for another (eating), and sitting 40 hours a week at a desk. And the weight has only gone up from there, despite repeated attempts to bring it down. I’ve lost 20, 30, 40 pounds only to have them pile back on with an additional 10 or 20 pounds for icing. I have mentioned my concern about my daughter’s self esteem and body image. I realize the only thing she has ever known growing up was my outward and ongoing struggle with my weight. (Woo hoo, another failure!)
I can blame many people and things for “sabotaging” my diets, for “making” me who/what I am. Things like mentioning how nice an ice cream would taste. They don’t need to ask me to go get ice cream, or have it in the house. In reality, they don’t have to ask me twice because well, they mentioned ice cream so it must mean I have permission to go get some. And it’s their fault. (By the way, I personally think “fault” is the true f-word.) I can offer dozens of examples and they all end up the same. I fail in my quest for…perfection? Beauty? Success? Certainly not a healthy lifestyle and satisfaction with who I am because that is not what I’ve been striving for.
Do I truly fear success? I think in some ways I do. If I reach a successful weight, then what will there be for me to be unhappy or dissatisfied or depressed about? I know that in thinking about this disease tool I am focusing on weight loss alone right now, but that has been my sole focus in the past.
So as a disease tool, this is pretty powerful. But in the overall scope of My Program, as I bring my focus to what is truly important – a healthy life free of addiction—then fear of success or setting myself up for failure will cease to exist. I can’t be either a success or a failure in the eyes of my creator. I am. Period. I can’t be a failure at attaining a healthy lifestyle because it is not an outward physical perfection, or imperfection. It is within. This tool wraps most of the disease tools into one neat package, saying, “Okay, you think you’re gonna make it this time, bring it on.” Being “successful” lives in the future, how the world perceives me, if/then mentality. If I am good/clever/obedient then I will be beautiful/smart/funny. Being a “failure” lives in the past, how I perceive myself. What does that leave? Oh, maybe today. And only today.
But how will I measure my “success” when it comes? Smaller clothes, easier walking, less pain in the knee will all be measures to be sure. But will they be success barometers or simply milestones in my path? My hope is that as I walk this path, and it’s an incredible experience to not be alone, they will simply be milestones I recognize, and even celebrate, but not a place to hang around on a journey that is going to take me the rest of my life.
To wrap it up, if I am mindful, if I stay tuned to the now and only the now, if I recognize the disease tools for what they are, I will be exactly who I want to be at this moment. I will quiet the strident voices of my disease and hear the quiet voice of my creator. And I will do it one day at a time.
Have a blessed and abstinent day
Sue
A compulsive overeater]]></description>
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<title>My Need to Look Good</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/39/my-need-to-look-good.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Another day of abstinence yesterday. Another day of feeling&#160;grateful, humble and peaceful.
&#160;&#160; 
I met a lady the other day and she told me her goal in life is to be peaceful and have&#160;a Coke. I can identify with her (except for the Coke, of course).
&#160;
Today I would like to say a word about my ego's desire to&#160;"Always Look Good." When I get dressed in the morning to go out, I check in the mirror to make sure I look good.&#160;Before I speak at a meeting, I want to make sure that I am going to say something impactful, something that will make me look good. When I meet someone new my ego says, "Say or do something intelligent."&#160; When I say something humorous I want to be the funniest person in the room.
&#160;
If&#160;I buy into the "I must always look good" seduction of my ego, it has certain consequences for me. I am now thinking about me, me, me again, and this selfish and self-seeking&#160;kind of thinking causes certain emotions to arise.&#160;A little fear, a little insecurity, doubt, worry, blame, etc.
&#160;
Charles Schultz, the "Peanuts" cartoonist, was once asked:&#160; What is one of your chief regrets in life? He replied:&#160; "That I was not more willing to make a fool &#160;of myself."&#160; 
&#160;
I think I am much more grateful, humble, and peaceful in my life when I do not get caught up in to the ego's seduction of "I must always look good."
&#160;
My being willing to make a fool of myself or just being willing to be an ordinary person keeps me from focusing on me, myself and I.
&#160;
I notice that I create far less negative emotions&#160;when I am not so self-centered.&#160;I find that extra trips to the pantry and refrigerator are considerably less frequent.
&#160;
May we all experience peace on this day!]]></description>
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<title>When Things Don't Go My Way</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/38/when-things-don-t-go-my-way.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I had another good abstinent day yesterday.&#160;Refraining from compulsive eating, eating plant-based healthy foods,&#160;observing my emotions and not reacting to them in an unskilful manner. Also&#160;staying in touch with my God, which I am calling the Universe these days.
&#160;
I heard a good joke the other day.&#160;"God, I&#160;have not been unkind or selfish towards anyone today.&#160;I have not had any negative thoughts. I have not verbally assaulted anyone. I have not compulsively eaten.&#160;Now I am about to get out of bed so please help me through the rest of the day!"
&#160;
I would like to make a short comment about another tool that my ego likes to use in order to seduce me into compulsive eating.&#160;It says that "I need everything to go my way." &#160;If I do not get my own way, from the very smallest of issues to major events, I notice&#160;that,&#160;at times, I&#160;easily get triggered.&#160;A twinge of anger, disappointment, despair almost immediately invades my body.&#160; 
&#160;
It is nice to be able to recognize this, accept this sensation in my body and let it pass through.&#160; What a wonderful feeling to be able to accept events that do not go my way and not react with food.
&#160;
My hope is that you will be able to do&#160;the same.&#160;No matter how small or large the situation,&#160;when things do not go your way, be aware of the feelings that it triggers and do not react.&#160;Maybe you can calmly observe&#160; the situation, wait a few moments and then act instead of reacting (especially with food).
&#160;
May we all be healthy. ]]></description>
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<title>Negative Emotions are Normal </title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/37/negative-emotions-are-normal-.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Today I am beginning my 37th day of abstinence.&#160;I continue to be very grateful, humble, and joyous about this event. 
&#160;
I have been examining the negative aspects of my mind during the last several blogs. I am very glad I am going through this process. I believe I am not&#160;looking at things in a negative light and then attracting them to myself&#160;(which would be one aspect of the law of attraction). Instead, I am seeing the reality of life.&#160;The mind does suffer and the mind does think negatively upon&#160;occasion.
&#160;
What is happening to me is that I&#160;now accept these negative thoughts without reacting&#160;to them.&#160;I am no longer afraid&#160;of these thoughts.&#160;In the past, I would say to myself,&#160;"I can't think this way, I need to banish these thoughts. If I keep thinking like this, more negativity will appear in my life."&#160; Instead, I&#160;now see that the creation of suffering and negativity in my mind is totally normal.&#160;It happens to everyone.
&#160;
I have not met anyone who has not had the following:
&#160;
Fear of rejection
Procrastination
Isolation
Feeling negative about themselves or others.
This is boring, I am not having any fun
I am afraid I may hurt someone's feelings or I am worried about what others may think of me
There is not enough (time, money, attention, etc.)
Worry about the past
Worry about the future
&#160;
This is just a normal part of the suffering mind.&#160;It happens to everyone. Guess what? &#160;It turns out&#160; we are normal.&#160;It turns out that my emotions are not much deeper and more intense that anyone else's.&#160;I have learned that when I isolate myself and don't share my emotional upheaval, then it just seems to me&#160;that my emotions are more intense. It&#160;seems they are soooooo intense that I must "do something immediately"&#160;to suppress the intensity of them. Such as eat, eat,&#160;eat until they are immobilized.
&#160;
Now that I can see the normalcy of these tools of my ego, these negative emotions, it is much easier for me to deal with them.&#160;Hey, I am normal! I can be aware of the negative emotions, observe the sensations in my body (how intense are they really), and simply not react to them.&#160; Let them pass like the smoke from a fire.&#160; 
&#160;
Naturally when&#160;we deal with negative emotions as a normal human occurence without reacting to them, they will have far less impact on us. I just wonder what will show up in our minds when we treat negativity with simple observation.&#160;My guess is the mind will replace them with joyous, serene, grateful, humble thoughts.
&#160;
It is a wonderful experience for me to observe the normal negative mind and not be alarmed by it and not&#160;react to it.&#160;Hooray for the normal negative mind and the lessons I am learning from it today.&#160;
&#160;
May we all be abstinent.]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Self Hate and Arrogance</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/36/self-hate-and-arrogance.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Thanks to those of you who commented on the blog from yesterday. It's funny how a little encouragement from your fellow man/woman can inspire us to keep moving forward.
&#160;
The blogs in the past couple of weeks have been discussing how the (my)&#160;mind, ego, or eating disease&#160;on a consistent basis comes&#160;up with negative thoughts.
&#160;
We have discussed that this is natural for the mind to create these thoughts since we all possess a suffering mind.&#160;I am now seeing that&#160;negative thoughts should be examined with curiosity since they are&#160;difficult to stop.&#160;
&#160;
In the past, when&#160;a negative thought/emotion&#160;appeared&#160;I would react to it and attempt to diffuse it with food. Nowadays&#160;I try to be aware that these negative thoughts are a normal process of the human mind. Nothing to get excited about. Just do not react to them in an unhealthy manner. 
&#160;
Today I would like to talk about my mind sending me messages that "I am not good enough" (self hate)&#160;or the opposite, "I am too good"&#160;(arrogance).
&#160;
When these thoughts appear, certain emotions show up: maybe fear, maybe pride. In either case, serenity, peace, or tranquility are&#160;not the result.&#160; 
&#160;
In the&#160;past&#160;when I finally got my fill of these uncomfortable&#160;and&#160;unpleasant sensations/emotions, I would wind up in front of the refrigerator to change the feeling. Of course, I was&#160;doing this unconsciously.
&#160;
The great thing about today is I am now fully aware when my mind tries to tempt me with thoughts of self-hatred or arrogance.&#160;Instead of being seduced by these thoughts and eating,&#160;I can observe the thoughts, feel&#160;the sensations and let&#160;them pass. 
&#160;
It's like my mind is now checking with me to see if I am awake&#160;(aware) and to see if I will bite on these illusionary thoughts of self hate or arrogance.&#160;When I stay aware and awake, "Bingo" --peace eventually appears.
&#160;
This is pretty freeing stuff for a compulsive overeater.&#160;
&#160; 
So maybe the next time you have negative thoughts about your not being "good enough" or "too good," you can become conscious of the impermanence&#160;and let it pass without the refrigerator or pantry rescue ploy.
&#160;
May we all be peaceful!
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Five Bowls of Chili</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/35/five-bowls-of-chili.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Abstinence -&#160; Refraining from Overeating and Eating Unhealthy Foods&#160; (this, of course, is just my definition)
&#160;
Yesterday I had a minor upset and before I took time to emotionally feel this upset and let it pass, I had consumed five bowls of chili.
&#160;
First I would like to discuss the upset.&#160;I said something to someone I should have refrained from saying.&#160;I have since&#160;apologized for my actions. The quicker the apology, the quicker is my return to emotional/spiritual balance.
&#160;
These days I like to take all events and look at my responsibility in the interaction. The other person may have some responsibility, but I am&#160;looking at the part I can do something about. I determined that my part of the interaction&#160;is that I was selfish, self-seeking and somewhat frightened&#160;about the future. This was a money conversation. I am well aware that God or the Universe always takes care of me. So there is really nothing to be frightened about. But, of course, in the moment I forgot this important ingredient and mouthed off a bit.&#160;Nothing serious but just enough to cause inner turmoil in myself and the other person.&#160; 
&#160;
I did already apologize to the other person and I am also giving&#160;myself the space to forgive myself.&#160; I am focusing on a daily basis to not be selfish, self-seeking or frightened if something does not go "my way." Being aware of my selfish ways&#160;on&#160;a daily basis and then allowing myself the freedom to forgive myself is a great tool I am using for my recovery.
&#160;
As for&#160;the five bowls of chili?&#160; Am I still abstinent? &#160;After all, this was my 34th day of abstinence.&#160;I may be rationalizing, but here are my thoughts after&#160;suffering&#160;about this most all of the night.&#160;Prior to this incident,&#160;I did work my program all day. I wrote,&#160;did some reading, attended a meeting with the people in my group,&#160;made&#160;phone calls to members of my group throughout the day, tried to be of service to others, made a food plan and called it in, and&#160;ate only vegan foods during the day. My first two meals were perfect.&#160;I am well aware that "I can overeat&#160;healthy foods also," as I did with the chili.
&#160;
Since I worked a good program yesterday and did stop the overeating and am right back on my program today, I actually feel OK right now. In the past I may have continued eating and eating for an extended period of time&#160;(days, weeks, or even months).
&#160;
I am saying that yesterday was an abstinent day for me. One of those "imperfect perfect days of abstinence."&#160; I have had about five of those days during the last 34.
&#160;
I would love to hear your comments on this day.&#160;Was I abstinent or not?&#160; Please relate this to your own life.&#160;I am writing this blog each day for all of us, in the hope that we may together&#160;get through the overeating issue in our lives.
&#160;
May we all be abstinent today!]]></description>
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<title>Self Pity</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/34/self-pity.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Today I would like to write about my being self-centered and gravitating toward self pity.&#160;Then see&#160;how this is directly connected to overeating.
&#160;
When I look at situations in my life that do not go "exactly my way,"&#160;I am not peaceful and serene. I become&#160;agitated. This has to do with my being self-centered.&#160;When I think about times I have lost money in business dealings, or when my casino business was not doing well, or when I would go to a party and people were interacting with others and not me, I would become filled with self pity.
&#160;
Next thing you know, I am looking in the refrigerator or pantry for food. I am trying to suppress feelings of insecurity, fear, doubt, worry, guilt or powerlessness.
&#160;
Nowadays I notice when my mind is being self-centered.&#160;I observe when my mind&#160;becomes filled with self pity. I welcome these thoughts as gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) reminders&#160;that&#160;I am off-track with my thinking.&#160;
&#160;
These off-track thoughts and unpleasant feelings are a&#160;natural part of being human.&#160;They are a part of the suffering mind that we all possess. They&#160;are now a welcome wake-up call for me. Instead of running to food to suppress, I am now waking up, feeling the uncomfortable sensations and letting&#160;them pass (as they always do.) I do not have to continue to dwell in&#160;self pity.&#160;It's really nice to&#160;see that I do not have to&#160;eat as an unskillful way of dealing with these negative thoughts and emotions.
&#160;
By the way, I am really losing quite a bit of weight during my 33 days of abstinence. However, I can clearly see that addressing the emotional&#160; and spiritual aspects of my life are the key to this eating puzzle. Losing the weight is just a natural by-product of being emotionally and spiritually balanced. 
&#160;
May we all be abstinent today (the process of refraining from overeating and remembering to observe our negative emotions and not react to them).]]></description>
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<title>Radio Today</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/33/radio-today.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[This afternoon, once again I am going to be doing my radio show on KLAV-1230 AM on the Las Vegas radio dial.&#160;It airs every Tuesday at 4:00 pm.&#160;If you would like to listen to it on the Web, go to&#160;www.1230klavam.com. You can hear it on the Net anywhere in the world. 
&#160;
I am less nervous to do this show than I have been in the past.&#160;However, I am still somewhat&#160;anxious. My ego/disease wants to yack in my ear and say,"I am not good enough. Others are better than me when it comes to doing a show such as this on weight release."
&#160;
However, I am becoming more clear that I need to welcome these kinds of thoughts instead of resisting them.&#160;They are simply trying to tell me that I have got more work to do.&#160;I am still too focused on myself and how I appear to the rest of the world. Thinking about me, me and me.&#160; Consequently, I am just observing this phenomenon of fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, thinking about myself and calmly letting it pass. In the meantime, I am going to do the show anyway.
&#160;
I hope you enjoy the radio show today. It is about why we resort to eating to suppress our emotions and how to get past this.&#160;It is about overcoming our emotions and our unskillful ways of dealing with them (eating) so we can move onto having joyous, fun-filled, productive lives.
&#160;
I hope you will listen and I welcome any comments you may have, either by writing to me on this Website or calling into the show at 702-731-1230.
&#160;
May we all be happy!!!]]></description>
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<item>
<title>The Mind Suffers</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/32/the-mind-suffers.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Starting day 32 of wonderful abstinence today. Yea! (Abstinence being refraining&#160;from overeating and eating food that is not healthy for my body.)
&#160;
The last several days I have been writing about the games that my ego mind likes to play to seduce me into getting back into overeating and/or eating unhealthy food.&#160;Games like fear of rejection, procrastination, isolation,&#160;being negative about myself and others,&#160;thinking that healthy eating is boring,&#160;worrying about hurting others' feelings or what other people think, and&#160;feeling there is not enough (time, money, etc.).&#160;
&#160;
It may seem that this is negative thinking and I should simply start thinking positive and then everything would be alright.&#160;Simple enough concept. 
&#160;
However,&#160;there is&#160;great value for me in recognizing that my mind&#160;does at times drift into much negativity.&#160;Buddhists say that there are&#160;Four Noble Truths. The First Noble Truth is that the Mind Suffers. Being aware that the mind suffers and&#160;does gravitate toward negativity&#160;can be very enlightening. If this is true,&#160; the question becomes:&#160; "So how do I get past this suffering mind and can it be done?"
&#160;
The answer, of course, is yes.&#160;However, what is working so well for me these days is to recognize that yes, the mind really does suffer, and to&#160;look directly into the eyes of this suffering and notice exactly what it is.&#160;&#160; 
&#160;
I am looking at these sufferings&#160;as a natural part of my mind and getting familiar with them. It really has been fun for me.&#160;I notice as I am uncovering what makes my mind suffer is that I am staying abstinent and rather happy during this process.
&#160;
So try recognizing that the mind does suffer and it is a natural part of our being human.&#160;Nothing really to worry about. We can learn to get past the suffering mind into freedom from food and other addictions.
&#160;
Tomorrow I intend to blog about how my mind suffers about worrying about the future.&#160;As I get a clearer understanding of my mind, I am starting to actually enjoy all phases of it, including the suffering!
&#160;
May we all experience&#160;peacefulness today.]]></description>
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<item>
<title>The &quot;Not Enough&quot; Game</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/31/the-not-enough-game.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Today I am starting my 31st consecutive day of abstinence (refraining from overeating and making bad food choices). It feels like a million bucks! (I&#160;have a million bucks so I know what that feels like.)
&#160;
I made a list of the games/thoughts&#160;that my disease/ego mind likes to play.&#160;The ego clearly wants to keep me in my overeating cycle so it has the control over me that it seeks.&#160;The game I am writing about today is this: There is not enough. Sometimes my mind likes to tell me there is not enough time,&#160;not enough money,&#160;not enough attention being paid to me, not enough food in the world for everyone, not enough police protection,&#160;or maybe&#160;I do not have&#160;enough of the right&#160;friends.
&#160;
I&#160;have noticed this list can go on and on and when my mind seduces me into this kind of thinking,&#160;guess what happens to me?&#160; Negative emotions show up.&#160;Sometimes a little insecurity, sometimes a little doubt, worry, blame, pessimism.&#160;Over the years,&#160;I developed the habit of trying to subdue these uncomfortable feelings with food. This is a very&#160;unskillful way&#160;of dealing with emotions, but the ego mind does not want to hear logic.&#160;It only wants me to react to&#160; uncomfortable emotions by using this unskillful method of&#160;eating.&#160; 
&#160;
What is really&#160;freeing for me these days is the following:&#160;The awareness of&#160;thoughts that I am having&#160;and seeing how easily&#160;I can recognize this "not&#160;enough"&#160;conversation. Then it's&#160;simply a matter of saying to myself that this is just another one of the games&#160;my&#160;ego mind plays to keep me in its clutches. Now I can (with a smile) just recognize the game,&#160;quietly observe it and watch as these thoughts rise and fall.&#160;I can see now that I do not need to react to them with food, drugs, alcohol, gambling or any other addiction.
&#160;
All thoughts are impermanent&#160;and they all&#160;rise and fall. Try it once and notice the realization that all thoughts are temporary.&#160;When we can actually&#160;experience this reality&#160;and not react with food, it is an&#160;amazing freedom. A gift!
&#160;
Notice for yourself&#160;if your mind likes to play the "not enough" game with you. Then smile at this game and calmly watch as it rises and falls.&#160;Please remember we do not have to react to this game of the mind with food. 
&#160;
May you be abstinent&#160;today&#160;(from whatever your addiction may be).]]></description>
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<title>Perfect Imperfect Abstinence</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/30/perfect-imperfect-abstinence.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I have certain tools that I use to keep my ego at bay pertaining to overeating. I call a food plan into a buddy each morning, I speak with this buddy daily. I meet with a group each day to discuss the subject of overeating. I&#160;do some reading and writing. I make sure I go to the gym and work out.&#160; When I do these things every day, I know I am working my abstinence program.&#160;I call abstinence refraining from compulsive eating and the realization that it cannot be done alone -- no isolation.
&#160;
I ate three Vegan meals yesterday. Then last night before I went to bed,&#160;I had a bowl of pasta.&#160; Was this a part of my eating plan for the day?&#160; No, it was not.
&#160;
However in the past, what I normally would have done after the pasta was to continue eating.&#160; Saying to myself, "Well, Gary, you blew it, so you may as well keep going. This may be your last chance anyway to&#160;binge, since Gary is going to want to go back to his sensible eating plan tomorrow."
&#160;
Then, as&#160;a compulsive overeater, I may have continued the next day and possibly kept going for days and months.
&#160;
I did not do that after the pasta.&#160;I stopped eating and went to bed. This morning I got up and did some writing and reading, had a nice workout at the gym,&#160;and now I am about to call in my food plan for the day.&#160;This is a major victory for me, a remarkable achievement. Although I did have the pasta, I stopped and continued my program.&#160;YEA!!!!!!!
&#160;
This was a day that I worked my program throughout the day.&#160;It was a day of perfectly&#160;imperfect abstinence. Yes, I did eat something that was not on my&#160;food plan, but I did not keep going after I went of the plan for a bit.&#160;&#160;
&#160;
I am now on my 29th day of abstinence and thus far I have had four days that weren't quite perfect.&#160;Today, those kinds of days are OK with me and I am grateful for each of these past 28 days&#160;including the perfectly imperfect days!!!!!]]></description>
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<title>This is Not Fun</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/29/this-is-not-fun.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[When I am eating healthy for a certain period of time, usually two or three days, my mind starts to hound me.&#160;It tells me playing this healthy food game is not fun and is actually boring.&#160;It tries to convince me to get off this health kick and start enjoying life.&#160;It tells me, "I only live once."&#160;Problem is, when I listen to that part of my mind, in the end I wind up 50 pounds heavier and&#160;consumed&#160;with miserable feelings about myself and others.
&#160;
I have listened to that part of my mind many hundreds of times and each and every time it leads down a miserable path. Thankfully, now I recognize&#160;this "boring and not fun" conversation in my mind for what it really is --&#160;&#160;just another tool my ego uses to lure me&#160;into my&#160;unhealthy eating patterns. I now can recognize this conversation, simply observe it as another tool of my ego mind,&#160;and let it pass.&#160;When I do this, I feel soooooo much better and emotionally balanced.
&#160;
I did my radio show this past Tuesday and felt comfortable doing it. I am getting past my fear of rejection and enjoying doing this radio show about us overeaters.
&#160;
I hope you can listen and that it makes your relationship with food just a little better.&#160;The show is each Tuesday @ 4:00 pm&#160; (PST)&#160; on KLAV Radio 1230 AM.&#160; You can also listen to the show live on the internet. Go to:&#160; www.klav1230am.com,&#160;then click "listen live."
&#160;
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to write on this blog or you can e-mail me at gary@thelastcookieclub.com
&#160;
All who comment on this&#160;blog&#160;or who&#160;e-mail me will be entered into a drawing.&#160;The winner each week will win a signed copy of the THE LAST COOKIE CLUB book.
&#160;
May you be healthy!]]></description>
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<title>The Negativity Game</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/28/the-negativity-game.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Another tool&#160;my ego likes&#160;me to use&#160;is playing the negativity game. It suggests that I be negative about myself,&#160;about other people or&#160;about situations that arise during the day. Sometimes I discover that I demean myself by thinking,&#160;"I cannot do this, I am not good enough." Or&#160;that I become upset with myself for making certain decisions that do not go my way.&#160; 
&#160;
Sometimes I get caught up in in being negative about&#160;others and&#160;gossiping about them. My ego tries to convince me that it is fun to commiserate with others, and&#160;gossip and demean other people for their actions.&#160;&#160; 
&#160;
Sometimes my ego likes to jump on the bandwagon and put down political views. Criticize the&#160;IRS, the government, the school system; the list goes on and on.
&#160;
There is a constructive, healthy way to address issues in life and there's an unhealthy way to discuss issues.&#160;Being negative is an unhealthy way.
&#160;
How do we know if we are being unhealthy or negative?&#160;By being aware of how&#160;we feel. If we feel a little anger, some blame,&#160;doubt, worry, powerlessness, guilt, pessimism, jealousy or discouragement, then we are using unhealthy negative thinking to address our issues. The danger here, of course, is that we overeaters end up&#160;in front of the refrigerator, attempting to suppress these emotions with food.
&#160;
Then we ask ourselves, "Why are we overeating again?" Could be that we are&#160;getting caught up in&#160; negative thinking about ourselves, someone or something else.
&#160;
Being negative at any time is a&#160;tool&#160;the ego likes&#160;us to use.&#160;Please be aware of this, since the negative thinking leads to negative emotions, which leads to bingeing. When negativity pops up in your life, just smile inside and make a commitment not to get trapped by the ego once again.&#160;Observe&#160;the negative thoughts, do not react,&#160;and go on with&#160;your day and life.&#160;
&#160;
How do&#160;we handle situations&#160;that seem like there is only a bad or negative side?&#160;Start with calmness of the mind and a commitment to see what we can learn. One thing we can always learn is that every emotion is impermanent.&#160;They all rise and fall, and if we try to short circuit this natural process of rising and falling of emotions with food then we are doomed to repeat this compulsive eating again and again.&#160;Learning &#160;the impermanence of all emotions and calmly observing them rise and fall leads to calmness of mind, peace and serenity.&#160;Guess what?&#160;&#160;We will see that&#160;we do not have to eat to bury emotions after all.
&#160;
By the way, I am&#160;on the&#160;26th day of abstinence from compulsive eating (always being cognizant of negativity and its web).&#160; Make abstinence the most important thing in your life today.
&#160;
May we all be happy!]]></description>
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<item>
<title>You're Invited!</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/27/you-re-invited-.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I have&#160;been hosting a radio show on Tuesdays for the last three weeks. It addresses the issues of those of us with eating addictions&#160;and how to overcome them so we can enjoy life as it is intended to be. Due to my fear of rejection game that my ego&#160;likes to play with me, I really did not want anyone to listen to the show.
&#160;
I now want to officially invite you to listen to the show each Tuesday from 4:00 to&#160;5:00 pm on radio station KLAV&#160;- 1230 on your AM dial.&#160;(Thank you, Lord,&#160;I am getting past the life-long fear of rejection game.)
&#160;
My wish is that the show brings you&#160;hope for your compulsive eating and creates some serenity in your life, so you can get on with the business of living up to your own potential.&#160;I can share with you that I am feeling fabulous these days; very much&#160;enjoying being on my 25th day of wonderful&#160; abstinence.&#160;Also, happily refraining from burying my emotions with food.&#160;
&#160;
About time!!!!!]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Fear of Rejection</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/26/fear-of-rejection.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I just came back from the gym and&#160;would like to share with you something about FEAR OF REJECTION. I walked up to an older gentlemen (a stranger to me) and complimented him on his workout routine. Normally I would have not even considered doing&#160;this, since my ego normally says, "Who knows how this man is going to react to you. Better just mind your own business."
&#160;
The gentlemen was actually receptive to my compliment and we exchanged pleasantries for 15 to 20 seconds.&#160;About 30 minutes later, another gentlemen walked up to me (another stranger) and offered me a suggestion on how&#160;to use a particular piece of equipment.&#160;I did&#160;it and&#160;it felt much better. I spoke with him for 2 or 3 minutes.&#160;That was karma working within the hour. I did something nice for someone and 30 minutes later someone did something nice for me.&#160;I did not let my fear of&#160;fear of rejection&#160;rule my workout and I had an extra grand time by simply speaking to two people. Ninety-five percent of the time I speak to nobody and just work out.
&#160;
PROCRASTINATION -&#160;I want to blog to you each and every day.&#160;I have not been doing so.&#160;Why???&#160; Procrastination, of course. I am committing to do some blogging each day starting yesterday.
&#160;
When I allow fear of rejection and procrastination to rule my day, there soon follows a little disappointment, a little discouragement, a little doubt and insecurity. Soon after, you guessed it,&#160; eating compulsively to extinguish unidentified emotions.
&#160;
Today I am going to focus on isolation. We compulsive overeaters love to isolate ourselves from others so that we can feel sorry for ourselves and do our thing. (You already know what that is.)
&#160;
I am on day 24 of beautiful abstinence from overeating.&#160;I cannot express to you how grateful, humble and fabulous I feel today. I hope you can look at your fear of rejection, procrastination and isolation habits and notice what emotions they evoke within you and how it may lead to your compulsive overeating.
&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Procrastination</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/25/procrastination.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I have now completed Day 22 of asbstinence from compulsive eating. Yea!!!!!!&#160;
&#160;
I am feeling peaceful, happy and joyous.
&#160;
Today I would like to discuss procrastination and how it affects overeating for me and maybe you.
&#160;
I have had a messy desk in my office for probably most of my adult life.&#160; I would actually steer people away from my office to avoid the embarrassment.
&#160;
There were always items that needed to be done and I would normally delay a a lot of them that did not need attention right away.&#160;When I became consciously aware of my emotions, I noticed&#160;I would feel a little twinge of guilt when I walked by my desk.&#160;Sometimes a little pang of worry or insecurity.&#160;These uncomfortable emotions inevitably led to the refrigerator and an eating binge.&#160; My wife would ask, "Why are you eating?"&#160; I would respond with, "I don't know. I guess I'm hungry."&#160; But of course I really was not.&#160;
&#160;
My desk is now clean. I am doing positive things in other areas of my life, such as picking up my clothes off the floor, returning phone calls, and staying in the present moment (which helps me avoid procrastination).
&#160;
Guess what?&#160;I am now abstinent from binge eating for 22&#160;days.&#160;Is it because I am focusing on not procrastinating and skipping those negative emotions that subsequently follow?&#160; I'm convinced that certainly is a part of this wonderful feeling. If this feels right to you as well, I urge you to give it a try. I look forward to hearing from you and continuing our ongoing conversation. 
&#160;
Have&#160;a healthy and peaceful day.&#160;]]></description>
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<title>22 Days</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/24/22-days.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Today I am starting my twenty-second day of abstinence from&#160;food.&#160; Naturally, I am experiencing much peace and serenity. 
&#160;
People who belong to a twelve-step program are encouraged to use certain tools to stay abstinent from food (REFRAINING FROM COMPULSIVE OVEREATING).&#160;Twelve-step Programs actually have eight different tools they recommended.
&#160;
Our&#160;EGO minds also have tools they use in an attempt to keep us in our addiction.&#160; I recently made a list of&#160;fifteen different tools that my EGO likes to use on me.
&#160;
One of these tools is FEAR OF REJECTION. I have very carefully noticed (self-awareness) when my EGO gives me a shot of fear of rejection. It could be as simple as introducing myself to someone or making a phone call&#160;and cancelling a commitmen. Either of these situations is capable of intimidating me. 
&#160;
Most notably for me is the weekly radio show&#160; I am hosting, in which I&#160;discuss eating addictions and how to overcome them.
&#160;
Before the first show I did two weeks ago, my EGO was screaming at me.&#160;"What are you doing?"&#160; "Who do you think you are?"&#160; "You are not qualified to do this!" "You are going to freeze up on the air!" "You are going to get all emotional and start crying on the radio!" (which I did do).&#160; However, I did the radio show anyway and have done two shows since then. It is getting easier for me and my EGO is getting the message that its fear of rejection ploy is not working on me in this case.
&#160;
So if you have an eating addiction,&#160;maybe you can take a look at your EGO and see if it tries to use this FEAR OF REJECTION tool on you. Each time the EGO is successful at getting&#160;us to buy into not acting through your FEAR OF REJECTION, it follows up by giving&#160;us a shot of negative emotions, such as guilt, remorse, doubt, worry or powerlessness.&#160;Then, of course, as&#160;true compulsive overeaters, we turn to food to suppress the unpleasant emotions.
&#160;
Examine which tools your EGO uses to keep itself alive and subsequently produce these negative emotions to get you to compulsively eat, eat, eat.]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Radio, Part 2</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/23/radio-part-2.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday afternoon was my second “Last Cookie Club” radio show. I was much less nervous than the week before. Part of it had to do with getting that first program under my belt. Also, I was fortunate enough to have two guests, Claudia and Maggie, who are members of the local Overeaters Anonymous group.
Other than mixing up their names (something I will work on), I think the interview went well. Both women were articulate and very honest about their ongoing battles with food addiction and compulsive eating. They both provided some amazing insights. Here are a few quotes I found particularly helpful:
&#160;
“Food isn’t my issue. My issues are my issues.”
&#160;
“They find out that they’re not doing Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers; they’re doing life.”
&#160;
“I don’t eat because I’m hungry. I eat because of the hunger inside me.”
&#160;
“I joined Weight Watchers something like 50 times. I knew I wasn’t fully committed to the program because I waited until they offered free registration.”
&#160;
“At O.A., you think you’re going to lose weight. What you do is gain yourself.”
&#160;
Both women tried many different diets and programs before finding health and emotional healing at Overeaters Anonymous. Relating to a group of like-minded individuals and working the 12-step program is not always easy, but it has proven effective. Claudia has maintained a 42-pound weight loss for 19 months. (The longest I’ve gone without binge eating is 17 days. I am currently on day 13, taking it one day at a time.)
&#160;
I’m grateful to Claudia and Maggie for sharing their stories with us. They will be joining me again next Tuesday, October 13 at 4:00 p.m. on KLAV- 1230 to continue our conversation. I hope you will have a chance to tune in.]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Big Debut</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/22/big-debut.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday was my first ever Last Cookie Club radio show on KLAV-AM here in Las Vegas. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I want to create an on-air interactive support community for people struggling with food addiction. Radio seems like an ideal medium to help achieve that goal.&#160;
I arrived at the radio station at 3:00 pm, an hour before the launch of my show. Amber, the show producer from Imagine Marketing, met me there to go over the format and calm my nerves. I have to admit, my stomach was doing flip-flops. For a while, I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. This is a big stretch for me, unlike anything I have ever done before. Questions raced through my mind: Could I speak intelligently for an hour? What if my mind suddenly went blank? Would I get too emotional when I told my personal stories? (I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.)
&#160;
I have to admit that all those things happened. After my initial nervousness, I settled down a bit, trying to remember to keep my message conversational and from the heart, as if I were speaking to only one person. But when I started to read a particularly meaningful passage from my book, I began to get misty-eyed. I got a lump in my throat and my voice choked up. Somehow, I was able to regain my composure and go on with the show. (Isn’t that what they say: “The show must go on.”?) Then, with about two minutes to go, I couldn’t think of anything else to say. So I mentioned that to the audience. I figure honesty is the best policy.
&#160;
I learned a lot yesterday. I learned that an hour is a long time to talk. Next week, I’m bringing a guest along. I also learned that radio requires a tremendous amount of focus and energy. There are so many things happening at once, but you have to concentrate on communicating&#160;in a clear, concise manner (all the while remembering to be personable).
&#160;
But mainly I learned (or re-learned) that only my ego cares what people think. It doesn’t matter if I made mistakes or didn’t sound “professional” at times. I’m sure I’ll improve as the weeks go by. (I’m committed to this project and have signed an agreement to do at least 12 more weekly Last Cookie Club programs.) I’m also sure the audience will cut me some slack, knowing that I am my authentic self whether you hear me on the radio or sit across from me in my living room. What you see (and hear) is what you get. I have an important message and vision that I need to communicate and nothing (not even my own ego) is going to stand in my way. I’m here to help in the best way I know how.
&#160;
I hope you’ll continue to join me on this adventure. Together, we can grow and become the healthy people we’re meant to be.
&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>On the Air</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/21/on-the-air.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Starting this Tuesday at 4:00 pm, I’ll be hosting the weekly Last Cookie Club radio show on KLAV AM here in Las Vegas. This is a brand new adventure for me and something I’m really looking forward to. Of course, I’ll have some butterflies in my stomach right before the On Air light flashes for the first time. But I know I’ll settle down as soon as I start telling my story.&#160;
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to trust my instincts. Radio is something that just “feels” right. Over the past few months, I’ve been fortunate to have been interviewed on a variety of radio and TV stations. I have very much enjoyed the experience. People tell me I seem comfortable (although I’m faking it). The interviewers have been supportive and have made it easy for me. But somehow I feel like I need more time to fully delve into my personal experiences in battling food addiction and how I came to write “The Last Cookie Club.” My new hour-long format will afford me that opportunity.
&#160;
My plan is to use the first couple of shows to bring the audience up to speed on how I got to this point. Then, I’ll invite guests to join me. I’ll also begin soliciting listener involvement. My goal is to create an on-air support community because we’re all in this together. Nobody should struggle with emotional eating on their own.
&#160;
In the meantime, wish me luck. As we say in the radio business, “Stay tuned.”]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Making a Difference</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/20/making-a-difference.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[When I first got the idea to write a book about my 35-year struggle with issues of food addiction and weight loss, it was primarily for my own benefit. I had a lot of thoughts and ideas swirling around in my brain, and I figured the act of writing would help me crystallize them and put them in some kind of order. Beyond that, I hoped the process would be another important step on my path to developing a healthy relationship with food.&#160;
The result was “The Last Cookie Club,” a fictionalized version of my own experiences and those of family, friends and colleagues in our support group. My personal philosophy, and one I advocate in the book, is that all people have a deep seated need to fully self-express, to experience a sense of belonging, and to love and be loved. Our group interactions and the book all support that philosophy.
&#160;
I’m happy to say that the book has helped me accomplish my personal goals. I’m by no means out of the woods. In fact, like all addicts, I take it one day at a time. But now that I’m sharing my personal story with the world, I’m very much interested in helping make a difference in the lives of other people as well.
&#160;
The key, I’ve come to believe, is in authenticity. When human beings relate to each other in an honest and empathetic way, good things happen. It lays the foundation for healing to take place. I am striving to live a more authentic life, to trust my instincts so that whatever I decide to pursue feels right for me.
&#160;
As always, I welcome your comments and stories. I hope this website platform will continue to grow as a place for authentic communication.]]></description>
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<title>Drink Water!</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/19/drink-water-.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Last Saturday, I attended the Health Fair at the Galleria @ Sunset in Henderson. I did a book signing and very much enjoyed the experience. Nice to see that people are out there enjoying "The Last Cookie Club."&#160;I was honored that one couple drove all the way from Aliante to have me sign a copy of their book.
&#160;
Beginning Tuesday, September 29th (my birthday), I will be hosting a weekly radio show on KLAV radio 1230&#160;AM from 4:00 to 5:00&#160;pm.&#160;I will be talking specifically about eating&#160;addictions and why we resort to food to quiet our emotions. I will also be giving tips on how to overcome this deadly habit of ours. I am really looking forward to it. 
&#160;
I was reminded by a friend yesterday about the importance of drinking water. I was taught to drink half your body weight per day in ounces.&#160;Example: If you weigh 180 pounds, your body requires 90 ounces of water per day. You will notice that your skin becomes much softer and the flexibility in your body dramatically improves. Oh yes, you will also lose all the weight your have ever dreamed of, if you also eat a sensible diet along with drinking the water.
&#160;
Until next time!]]></description>
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<title>Commitment vs. Decision</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/18/commitment-vs-decision.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Is there a difference between a commitment to eat healthy and a decision to eat healthy?&#160;I have made a commitment to eat healthy (to myself and others) many times throughout my lifetime.&#160; Each time I broke the commitment. I guess I developed a habit of making commitments and then breaking them.&#160;It was not really my intention to break the commitment but in the end my commitment to not overeat was broken.&#160;It did not seem to matter who I made the commitment to, whether it be myself, my God, my family or friends. 
&#160;
The decision to eat healthy seems to be more definitive for me.&#160;As I mentioned&#160;in the blog yesterday, I have&#160; made certain decisions in my life.&#160;(These were not commitments but rather decisions.)&#160;I do not smoke, I do not take drugs, I do not drink coffee, I do not parachute out of airplanes.&#160;It's like the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Show," where the host asks: "Is this your final answer?"&#160; Somewhere, somehow I made a decision that this is my final answer.
&#160;
Pertaining to food, &#160;my decision and final answer is that I do not eat unhealthy foods. I am on my third day of&#160;eating healthy since I made this decision. At this moment I am feeling fantastic about this decision.
&#160;
However, three days does not make a lifetime. Talk is cheap. For me to say I have made a decision to&#160;not eat unhealthy foods and for me to do it each and every day are two different things. Right now I am feeling confident about this discovery about decisions. I will let you know how I do. It would also not hurt for you to pray for me and also for yourself if you have an eating issue.
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>My Newly Realized Decision</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/17/my-newly-realized-decision.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I made a simple decision to "Not Eat Unhealthy Foods" yesterday.&#160;At different times in my life, I made a similar decision to "Not Smoke, Not Take Drugs, Not Drink Coffee, Not Parachute&#160;from a Plane," etc.&#160;As I look over my life, &#160;there are a lot of things that I do not do, simply becuase I made the decision that I refuse to do those things (since I have no interest).
It turns out that I do not like being unhealthy and overweight. I really have no interest.&#160;I was put to the test yesterday with my "Newly Realized Decision."
My wife and I were invited over to my daughter's house to have dinner with their family.&#160;This normally is the perfect time to get into party mood, eat drink and be merry.&#160;I decided to bring my own fixin's (navy bean organic soup and rice).&#160;I chose to eat that instead of the pasta and wine I norrmally would have indulged in.
&#160;
As I was eating the soup and noticing the other food on the table, I really had a sensation that I do not eat unhealthy food. Very graftifying. I mean very gratifying!&#160;I&#160;do not have a food hangover this morning and have already visited the gym.
&#160;
I do not eat unhealthy foods; a&#160;decision that I have made with myself.&#160;I have asked God for his guidance&#160;many times over the years which I believe is essential in overcoming this overeating issue.&#160;However, I also believe that this request to not eat unhealthy foods needs to come from&#160; me to me.]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Making a Decision</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/16/making-a-decision.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Last night I was on a radio show here in Las Vegas speaking about addictive overeating.&#160;The radio personality did an admirable job of asking me the right questions. I came off sounding as if I really knew&#160;my material as it relates to addictive eating.&#160;I enjoyed this experience very much.
&#160;
Later that night, I was with a friend who is a member of another&#160;12-Step Program.&#160;He shared with me that he has been&#160;in&#160;his&#160;program since 1978 and has been clean since that time.&#160;In the end, he felt that a critical&#160;action involved making a decision with himself that he no longer would partake in his past activity.
&#160;
Something as simple as this was very profound for me. I have done many things while investigating how to overcome my addictive eating behavior, including the 12 steps, meditating,&#160; prayer, etc.&#160;However, I can think of no better piece of advice than what I received last night. Make a decision&#160;that I am a person who no longer eats unhealthy foods. Firmly plant this thought in my mind, believe it, know it&#160;to be true,&#160;and simply refuse to eat unhealthy foods. Eating unhealthy foods is just something I refuse to do.
&#160;
I will keep you up-to-date on my my progress. I do know that I got up at 3:00&#160;a.m. this morning, went to the refrigerator and prepared something unhealthy for myself.&#160;I&#160;thought about my decision that&#160;"I do not eat unhealthy foods."&#160; I&#160;put the food in the&#160;garbage disposal and&#160;went&#160;back to&#160;bed&#160;&#160;
&#160;
I slept well.&#160; What a rewarding experience for someone like me. 
&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Media Opportunities</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/15/media-opportunities.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Ever since the release of “The Last Cookie Club” last month, I’ve been involved in a whirl of media activity. Radio interviews, newspaper articles, photo shoots and the like. I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to this type of promotion, but I’m finding it interesting and challenging. I know this is just the beginning because, as the old saying goes, book marketing is a marathon, not a sprint.&#160;
When I embarked on my book writing journey almost two years ago, I never allowed myself to think beyond the publication of the novel. My goal was highly focused; write a book that accurately reflected my thoughts and emotions about food addiction in a compelling way. I often said that if I was the only person I helped, that would be enough.
&#160;
Now that “The Last Cookie Club” has been made available to the marketplace, I’m eager to share my story. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been that nervous about these new media experiences. After all, I’m knowledgeable about the subject matter (since it reflects my own personal 35-year quest) and I’m passionate about communicating what I’ve learned to others. I hope that comes across. So far, the people I’ve met couldn’t be nicer, from the media folks to the new fans who have bought copies of the book. All of them have gone out of their way to be supportive and make me feel comfortable and at ease.&#160;I believe they have found me to be a kindred spirit and understand that we’re all in this together.
&#160;
“The Last Cookie Club” has already expanded my world and allowed me to interact in a positive way with like-minded people. If that’s what this mission is all about, I say, “Bring it on.”]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Purpose of Our Lives</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/14/purpose-of-our-lives.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[When I used to oversee the weight release class at my casinos, we would always discuss the answer to this question:&#160;What is the purpose of our lives?&#160;I pretty much got the same answer from everyone.&#160;It was always about&#160;making a positive difference in either their own lives or&#160; making a positive difference in the lives of others.&#160;
&#160;
They wanted to make a difference in the lives of&#160; their family, friends,&#160;or even those they did not&#160;know.&#160;They wanted to make a difference in the lives of&#160; those who have been abused or those who have been less fortunate in other areas of their lives.&#160;They wanted to&#160;serve&#160;their God of&#160;choice.&#160;I could always count on a noble answer from virtually everyone.To me it means that behind the chaos of our minds is really a pure spirit that simply&#160;is love&#160;and&#160;very much enjoys expressing&#160;this love to others.
&#160;
Popular author Eckhart Tolle verbalized the purpose of our lives in this manner: He says we have two purposes; an inner purpose and an outer purpose. The inner purpose is to go within oneself and&#160; remember&#160; to stay connected to where we came from; whether we believe that to be God, the Universe or any other Being.&#160;
&#160;
The second or outer purpose is to focus on what we are doing right in this moment. For example, if you want a drink of water, walking across the room&#160;to get the water is your purpose and when you get to the water your purpose is to drink the water.&#160;If you are driving to work, the purpose may be to notice yourself driving a car, or to notice the colors of the other cars or just to appreciate the&#160;scenery along the&#160;way.&#160;We may be speaking to our children or grandchildren.&#160;The outer purpose of our lives at that moment&#160;is to&#160;just&#160;listen and interact.&#160;This kind of purpose keeps us grounded in the now moment and allows each moment in our lives to be a quality moment.&#160;The EGO, which likes to live in the future moments and past moments, cannot exist in the now moment. If we live each moment as&#160;a quality moment, then making a difference in the lives of others&#160;will&#160;manifest itself&#160;in the future&#160;easily and&#160;naturally.
&#160;
What has this got to do with overeating?&#160;Living in the moment lets us live in the here and now and not in the future or past.&#160;In short, it keeps us from trying to bury our feelings with addictive things such as food.&#160;Surely the purpose of our lives cannot be to obsess about food so that we can avoid uncomfortable feelings.Yet that is exactly how I have spent many, many moments in my life.
&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<title>Wine &amp; Pizza</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/13/wine-pizza.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Wine&#160; and&#160; pizza.&#160;&#160;

This was my meal last night.&#160; Not recommended unless you want to feel like crap 5 minutes later and immediately fall asleep on the couch.
I was of course experiencing some unpleasant feelings and sensatons in my body.&#160;&#160;So to avoid the suffering I tried to remedy this by extinguishing the experience with food/drink.&#160;What I really did was just multiply the misery.&#160; (Pretty smart, huh?)

I missed the opportunity to observe the feelings, remain calm&#160; and not react to them which would have&#160; led to real peace and real happiness for me.&#160; I&#160; am committed to being aware of sensations in my body,&#160;&#160; calmly observing and not reacting.&#160; Then watching as the sensations always rise and fall.&#160; Impermanence is a law of nature.&#160; (That's a good thing for me to remember)
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]]></description>
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<title>Unpleasant Feelings</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/12/unpleasant-feelings.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Unpleasant feelings showed up today. Did I attempt to put them out with food?
&#160;
Today I was a having a very good day emotionally and subsequently&#160;my eating patterns were excellent for me.&#160;Three wonderfully organic and vegan meals. I felt extra peaceful on this day.
&#160;
I went shopping with my daughter and we bought&#160; some furniture for her new house. My Wall Street trading went very well this week, also. Three &#160;of my beautiful grandchildren were spending the night with us whom I enjoy very much.
&#160;
But then, despite this seemingly idyllic day, emotions started to creep into my thoughts and then body. First, I had celebratory&#160; emotions due to the stock market and then doing something nice for my daughter.&#160;Then, even though I love my grandchildren and want to spend time with them,&#160;I had this anxious feeling that I needed to entertain them or maybe, just maybe, they would not think so highly of Grandpappy.
&#160;
So, did I eat over these very simple emotions or did I let them flow by and begin the training process for myself that everything is impermanent and will pass and there is no need to try to douse them&#160;with food.
&#160;
Answer:&#160;&#160;I&#160;ATE!!&#160; Chips and cheese dip. I mean lots of chips and cheese dip. Then I started drinking wine so&#160;I could pretend to feel like I did not care.
&#160;
Next morning:&#160; Regret!!&#160;
&#160;
I am starting this new day with resolve that I will be aware of thoughts, feelings, and sensations in my body and let them pass. After all, yesterday I did great except for about 30 minutes of binge eating.&#160;Overall,&#160;I am doing well and will continue to move forward.
&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<title>Binge Eating</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/11/binge-eating.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I binge ate last night.
Five or six pieces of barbeque chicken. Three or four helpings of potato salad (large helpings). Five or six helpings of strawberry salad, and one serving of butterscotch pudding. It is now three in the morning and I am unable to sleep. I have a food hangover.&#160;&#160;
I have been doing so well lately and last night I fell into a food binge as if I got stuck in a vortex. I&#160;felt like I could not get out until I finished bingeing.
&#160;
I&#160;have done many things to try to get past my unhealthy relationship with food. Years of working a 12-step program at OA,&#160;a minimum of 300 private counseling sessions,&#160;many wonderful meditation hours,&#160;silent meditation retreats for ten days at a time, health retreats for months at a time,&#160;spectacular fasting retreats, reading untold number of books, lots and lots of&#160;seminars&#160;and prayer, prayer, prayer.
&#160;
The good news is that I certainly know what to do now.&#160;I am clear that all my binges are&#160;attempts to deal with feelings or sensations&#160;in my body. An unskillful attempt to deal with them.&#160;I may feel agitated, angry, depressed, excited,&#160;overly enthused, etc.&#160;These feelings are results of thoughts in my mind that lead to&#160;these sensations in my body.&#160;I understand now that these sensations are&#160;impermanent. Everything in our lives is impermanent.&#160;Even life itself.&#160;
&#160;
Realizing this simple concept has been very freeing for me. Before, I believed these feelings would last indefinitely unless I did something right now (like eating) to rid&#160;myself of them.&#160;Each time I have a craving to eat, it is simply a result of a thought that leads to a feeling/sensation.&#160; Knowing that they are impermanent means that they will eradicate themselves. All I need to do is simply observe these sensations and do not react to them, just simply watch the impermanence of this&#160;phenomenon pass like clouds in the sky.
&#160;
Last night I&#160;reacted&#160;and did not&#160;observe.&#160;Today is a new day and I shall continue planting seeds of observation&#160;instead of reacting. I am bound to be successful. Even though I binge ate last night, I am feeling positive about my journey with food.&#160; 
&#160;
Thanks for listening.
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>A Good Day</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/10/a-good-day.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday I had a healthy day of eating. Yeah!! I stayed focused on what my mind craved and the suffering I wanted to avert. I became aware of this compulsion: I wanted to call a friend of mine and offer him a job. I could feel the compulsion to call right now and make the offer. Instead of calling, I just let myself feel the compulsion. I simply practiced feeling it without reacting. I knew the compulsion would evaporate because everything is impermanent.
Although the craving/compulsion to call my friend continued off and on throughout the day, I did not call. I simply wanted to observe how the compulsion would eventually subside. Today, I will call him with the offer, happily knowing I&#160;noticed a compulsion without reacting to it with food, food and more food.
Aversions to suffering on this day: I received a phone call in which I did not get what I wanted. I felt anxiety and noticed it. I did not react to it but merely&#160;observed my emotions. I also experienced some jealousy yesterday and certainly wanted to avoid this suffering (more anxiety). Again, no reaction to these events by trying to quell them with food. Yeah!! Yeah!! and Yeah!!
The days I stay aware of my mind's cravings and aversions to suffering, and calmly react to them, are the days I am peacfully happy to be alive. These are the days I sustain myself with healthy food only.]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Ego Attachment</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/9/ego-attachment.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[The EGO'S attachment to cravings and aversions to suffering:&#160;What exactly does this have to do with eating?
I have been very conscious of this phenomenon during the past week. Since I sold my two casinos, I now trade stocks for a living. When I trade stocks, typically my eating behavior becomes greatly exaggerated.&#160;I fall off the wagon and gain more weight during stock trading activities than during any other event.&#160;I have thought many times about not trading because of the way it triggers eating for me.&#160;
When I am doing well – winning – I crave more wins and more money. I am happy and excited.&#160; This, of course, propels me to eat and to “celebrate.”
&#160;
When I am losing, I do not like the feeling.&#160;I have an aversion to this suffering. I am unhappy and generally&#160;experience unpleasant sensations in my body. This also propels me to eat because I do not like these feelings/sensations.
&#160;
This typically is what happens to me in virtually every area of my life. If something is going in a pleasant manner, I crave more of it. If something is making me feel unpleasant, I have an aversion to it.&#160; 
&#160;
Both of these circumstances – cravings and aversion to suffering – lead to emotions I try to answer or quell with food.&#160;The trick for me is to be aware of cravings and sufferings in my mind and just to observe as they pass by and not react to them.&#160;If I also remember to stay in the present moment (and not obsess about cravings/sufferings), they seem to pass through my being more quickly. Being calmly aware of my cravings and sufferings, observing them and not reacting to them with food is very liberating for me…when I do it. ]]></description>
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<title>In the Moment</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/8/in-the-moment.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday would have been my ninth day in a row of successful eating.&#160;Did not make it.&#160; Boredom crept in and I succumbed to it.&#160;I&#160;am trading stocks since I sold the casinos and that did not go well yesterday, either.&#160;That combination triggered my dormant&#160;ego and I jumped into food to quell the seemingly overwhelming emotions.&#160;I pretty much cleaned up the leftovers&#160;from the 4th of July party and then kept going with the compulsive eating.&#160;I know enough not to obsess about the past (yesterday).&#160; Make today a now in the moment new day.&#160;
I was completely aware&#160;&#160;that my negative side and ego were running the show yesterday.&#160; If I continue shinning a light and being aware of my ego, I am convinced that it will diminish its power over me and&#160;the eating behavior will diminish.&#160;I will continue meditating and moving forward. Today is day one of eating healthy. That is my goal for today; to eat healthy, to meditate and stay out of the past and future with my thinking and be present to the moment at hand.&#160; ]]></description>
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<title>Sunday</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/7/sunday.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday was a close call day for me. It was a Sunday afternoon and boredom crept in.&#160;When this happens, an addictive eater like myself resorts very quickly to food to quell the boredom.&#160; 
Does it work?&#160; Oh yes, very quickly. However, it is soon replaced&#160;by much misery from eating inordinate amounts of food.&#160;
I did survive the day and ate only in a healthy manner. I am now on my ninth day in a row of eathing healthy.&#160;Which is one of my longer periods of sanity.&#160; (Seventeen days in a row is my personal record.)
&#160;
Author Eckart Tolle talks about the pain body.&#160;This is the part of us&#160;that actually enjoys misery;&#160; likes the feeling of being angry, resentful or feeling like a victim.
&#160;
The is also called the EGO by many people.&#160;The EGO or pain body may be dormant for a certain period of time.&#160;Maybe a few days, few weeks, or even a few months.&#160;But this EGO/pain body, rest assured, is always lurking in the shadows. It can be trigged by the thought of an old incident or a sensation in&#160;our body that seems to arise out of nohwere.&#160;Once this part of us is activated,&#160;it takes over and we return to being miserable and&#160;eating in attempt to end the emotional pain.
&#160;
I am observing this very carefully these days. Since I am on my ninth day of healthy eating,&#160;my EGO&#160;may need to be fed with some drama, emotional turmoil, etc.&#160;I am sure that is what happened yesterday, but since I was in an observing mode I was able to ride through this emotional pull to return to eating. I'm taking it one day at a time. 
&#160;
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<title>Made It</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/6/made-it.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday was the 4th of July and I survived the annual party at my home without binge eating.&#160; Potato chips, potato salad, hot dogs, salsa, guacamole and alcohol did not enter my body on this day.&#160;Peace and harmony pervade my body this morning.&#160;&#160;&#160;
However, it is not just how I ate on this day that was important. How did I feel and how did I act during the party?&#160; Normally, when I pass up food and drink&#160;on celebration days, I start feeling like a victim. I feel bored and left out of the flow of the party. Consequently, I have a tendency&#160; to withdraw&#160; and speak very little&#160;(which sets me up for an&#160;eating binge down the road -- maybe&#160;even the next day).&#160;I did not do that on this day, either.&#160;I spoke and stayed in the spirit of the party even though I was eating healthy.
&#160;
So, I have gone seven days eating healthy&#160;and exercising.&#160;Pretty darn nice.]]></description>
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<title>Big Day</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/5/big-day.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[When I started writing "The Last Cookie Club" some 18 months ago, my intention was to discover a way for me to overcome my eating addiction.&#160;I pretty much spent the entire 18 months compulsively eating while searching for an answer.&#160;This was very discouraging.&#160; Despite what I was learning I continued eating and eating, and of course gaining weight and barely fitting into my biggest clothes. I have eight different pant sizes in my closet and four different shirt sizes.&#160;
I recieved my first offically-printed copy of "The Last Cookie Club"&#160;book late last week.&#160;For some blessed reason I happened to have been eating healthy and exercising for two staight days when the book arrived.&#160;I am now on my seventh day&#160; in a row of eating healthy, exercising and meditating.&#160;The longest I have gone&#160;(at home) is 17 days.&#160;I have a sense that I am gong to go for a longer period than that this time. Feeling pretty darn good after eating healthy for six-and-a-half days!!
&#160;
After writing this book and some wonderful soul searching, I certainly know what to do to discontiue my tendency to punish my body with food.&#160;Now is the time for me to actually do what I have learned. Eating healthy, exercising, meditating and treating myself and others respectfully is clearly the way I want to live my life each day.&#160;
&#160;
Today is the 4th of July.&#160;We&#160; are having a party at my home with friends and family.&#160;Naturally, hot dogs, potato salad, chips, lots of cheeses, &#160;and alcohol&#160;will be flowing&#160; generously. Normally, I am filled with fear on this kind of&#160;day (since I know what I am most likely going to do to my body, in order to fit in with the crowd).&#160; However, today I am feeling rather peaceful; I believe&#160;I will not jump into the pain and misery of food and drink in order to quiet my emotions. My guess is that I am gong to have a wonderful&#160;time.&#160;Big Day...wish me luck!!&#160; 
&#160;
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Part 2</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/4/part-2.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[Something inside me always said, "Don't confuse me with the facts. We’re going to eat no matter what you’ve learned." This voice would allow me to partake in all these wonderful programs, let me lose enough weight so I would feel like I was in heaven with this nice slim, energetic body. Then when I got home, this inner-being would take over and I would return to voracious eating. As I’ve said, this has happened to me dozens of times. Of course people would say to me, “Don't you know that gaining and losing all this weight is bad for your heart?” Duh! My being is well aware of that but again simply says, “Don't confuse me with the facts. We’re going to eat no matter what.”&#160;
For some unknown reason, I decided to write a book about my eating addiction. I tried journaling many times, but this was ineffective for me. So writing a book seemed 10 times worse than journaling. I did it anyway.
&#160;
When I started this book, “The Last Cookie Club," I pretty much knew I had the answer to my addiction.&#160;However, I could not quite put my finger on how to articulate it, nor how to make it effective in my life. This is what propelled me to do this writing. I knew I was close to the answer for me, but I needed to somehow clearly express it to myself. I had run a weight loss program in my casino for a period of time and very much enjoyed doing this. Then, of course, my inner- being said enough of this, we’re going back to eating. So I closed the program and went on a very long binge.&#160;I kept asking myself this question, “When am I going to have my last binge?&#160;(Last cookie, so to speak).&#160;
&#160;
Since writing the book, I have certainly gone through the ups and downs of gaining/losing weight, but I kept moving closer to my answer. I knew it was community with others. I knew it was staying in touch with my spirituality. I knew it was truly accepting this inner-being of mine that propelled me toward eating and eating.
&#160;
I’m still not there, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.&#160;It has been a challenging but necessary journey for me, as it is for most of us. I believe that writing “The Last Cookie Club” has been an important part of my discovery and healing process. Now, I invite you to go on this journey with me. Together, we can continue moving toward a healthy mind, body and spirit.
&#160;]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Message from the Author</title>
<link>http://thelastcookieclub.com/blog/article/1/message-from-the-author.php</link>
<description><![CDATA[I wrote this book because I have been dealing with an eating addiction for more than 35 years. I have lost a substantial amount of weight during this period, probably 20 to 25 times. Each time I lost anywhere from 30 to 70 pounds. When I am feeling overweight, my energy, attitude and plain old desire to contribute diminishes significantly.
More times than I care to remember, I’ve asked myself, “What is wrong with me? Please God, please someone, please anyone help me. Why in the world would I gain weight, then lose weight and then gain the weight right back again. Am I crazy???”&#160;
My first thought 35 years ago was to seek professional help through therapy. I may have gone to private counseling and hypnotherapy – maybe 200 to 300 sessions throughout my lifetime.
Next I tried Over Eaters Anonymous. Untold number of meetings. I would go every day, work the steps diligently, get a sponsor, etc. I also have read many books on the subject of overeating and spirituality. Spirituality, spirituality and more spirituality was the theme of virtually all of my quests to dissolve this eating addiction.

I went to a raw food retreat in San Diego. I probably visited this retreat six or seven times. Once I stayed there for six months, trying to figure out my eating addiction. After that I went to a fasting retreat center in Northern California on several different occasions. I did doctor- supervised water fasts for 14, 17 and 21 days. Told myself I was just trying to detox my system, but inside I really knew I was just trying to lose weight and keep it off.

Meditation was a component in many of my endeavors, but deep down I didn’t see any value in meditation. Many different teachers, but time and again, only temporary results.
Exercising you say? Countless hours upon hours and miles upon miles of exercising.

So have I been addressing my eating addiction over the years? Oh yeah!
Were these programs of any value to me? Most certainly. I very much enjoyed each endeavor. I am so well educated that I now clearly know what to do. So am I doing it? Not necessarily.
As Paul Harvey used to say, stay tuned for “the rest of the story.”]]></description>
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