Note: While Gary is on vacation, this is another entry from guest blogger Sue:
Today we celebrate the first birthday of an amazing miracle called Brin. But then, all babies are miraculous, and each one is a miracle within their own family. I also want to give a hooray to my son-in-law who now has four generations of females, ranging in age from 1 to 82 under one roof. He is showing remarkable patience, grace and adaptability, especially as the pressure builds up towards getting ready for Brin’s party.
Yesterday was a day of overload. I think it started the night before when we decided to play dominoes until 1:00 a.m. We had fun, even if our eyes were blurring at the end, and what surprised me was, as we staggered off to bed, there were no empty dishes to rinse that had held ice cream or cake, no cookie or chip crumbs to brush away or dominoes gluing themselves to sticky fingers. Somewhat of a first for me, and my family as a whole. Fun nights, game nights, usually come with food. No, not just food. Trigger and compulsive foods that can be eaten mindlessly and endlessly, often with the fingers which somehow increases the sensory enjoyment.
Morning (still tired) hours were spent getting ready for Brin’s one-year checkup, and then off to do some shopping. This was my first trip actually into an Ikea store. And talk about sensory overload! First, it is one of the most family-friendly stores I’ve ever been in. It’s also a place that if you happen to get locked in for a night, you might not want to ever leave. It’s family-friendly starting with rows of “family” parking closest to the entrance (lots of SUVs with car seats parked there).
It was way after lunch-time so we headed straight to their cafeteria-type lunchroom. Again, not only did they have a huge supply of high chairs, but also sani-wipes for table tops and chairs. There are wire carts to place multiple trays for transporting to a table, and the parents with strollers and children could push them with one hand. Then there is the food. They were having a special – penne pasta with vegetarian marinara sauce for 99 cents. Perfect for my food plan, I thought. No cheese, bread or other inducements came with it. Hah! There were probably 3, if not 4 cups of pasta in that bowl, with a huge helping of an incredible sauce that included identifiable veggies within it. And not a take-home box in the place. My mother and daughter both had the Ikea Swedish meatballs, which came with Lingonberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy. I think there were possibly 12 meatballs on each plate, and they weren’t small. Brin found Swedish meatballs to be one of her new favorite foods, easy for her to chew on toothless gums. They also had a “princess cake” which neither one could eat because of the intense sweetness. I didn’t take a bite, knowing what it would trigger for me.
We went in search of the two items on our list, which took us through their food section. Again, sensory overload with their signature cookies, candy, jellies, et al. I wanted to buy them all. And before starting on my road to abstinence, I would have made a good head start in doing so. It was a turn-around moment for me, just realizing what I wanted to do versus what I would choose to do. Of course, Brin now has a whole stuffed elephant family (I had to buy something!) and I can’t wait to get my hands on an Ikea catalog once I’m home.
Costco was next. Costco, in the afternoon, with sample carts is a daunting place to be. Lots of samples, and yes, I did taste some of them. But I chose which ones, not just eating them because they were there. Finished shopping, didn’t get the 8-lb. chocolate cake or even taste the small éclair samples. Brin now has a rocking horse (but that came from her great-grandma). We bought a rotisserie chicken and one of my disease tools—scarcity/deprivation came roaring in. One chicken? We’d starve! Of course, one chicken was more than enough, especially with me sticking to my food plan. It took some conscious effort on my part to move through the messages I was getting, but I did.
So I will start my day by frosting 23 cupcakes (there seems to be one missing but that wasn’t from me!), helping to decorate the main cake, making turkey and cream cheese roll ups and being in a room with 10 babies and their parents. It’s going to be fun, Brin will come home tired and probably a little cranky, and we will let ourselves drift a bit. The challenge will be for me not to drift into mindlessness, or let sensory overload take me down the road of compulsive eating.
So, only for today, I will be mindful and sensitive, letting the joy of the day fill me more than food ever could.
Have a wonderful, abstinent day.
Sue
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