Hi, this is Sue. I will be filling in for Gary this week while he's on vacation.
I’m beginning my fifth week of abstinence. Wow! It has been fairly easy and certainly worthwhile. Easy, I think, because of the support of Gary who has become a mentor, coach, and support team all rolled into one. Worthwhile speaks for itself in feeling healthier, more energetic, and not struggling to zip the jeans (already!).
Yesterday I was asked if keeping track of the days of abstinence was counter-intuitive to the practice of one day at a time. Yes, it can be, but I also think it’s good to remind myself of success. I don’t look down the road 60 or 120 days, I don’t even look to day 30. I’m okay with today, day 29, and I am pleased with the 28 days that I have been abstinent. If something happens and I “go to a black hole” as Gary has done this past week, I can look at the success of the last 28 days as an affirmation that abstinence can be achieved, that I don’t have to reside in the black hole. I have read Gary’s blogs this week as he struggled to climb back out of the hole. I watched him at the radio station as he spoke to his audience of his struggle and I believe him when he says that he can and will get back on the abstinent road.
Gary and I are headed to opposite ends of the Pacific Coast for vacations. Guess I have better access to a computer than he does so I get to be the guest blogger. Of course, anytime I can get a point across without any interruptions, I’m in a happy place. Gary and I will definitely have different challenges. He will be at a resort, at the mercy of what is available in restaurant and fast food settings. I will be at my daughter’s, with minimal outside challenges. She is supportive of my abstinence and has spent a great deal of time planning with me for healthy eating. I have found an OA meeting close to her home and she asked if she could go with me. I’ll share the literature, and if she wants to, she can read my daily blogs. Of course, since I’ll be there to celebrate my granddaughter’s first birthday, I’ll want to at least have a small piece of her (homemade) carrot cake. Actually we are going to have cupcakes, but it’s still a trigger food with the processed flour and sugar. Teresa said that whatever I choose will be fine, Brin won’t care if I have cake or not and Teresa is prepared to support me in remaining abstinent (not becoming compulsive by continuing to eat cake or anything else beyond my food plan) if I do have a cupcake. I’ll just make sure it is figured in my food plan for the day.
We’ll be going out for dinner a couple of times, seafood of course. I’m going to be in Seattle after all. Lots of steamed shellfish, the kind that is dumped out on a paper-covered table along with potatoes, corn on the cob and a basket of fresh rolls. Then there is the free birthday prime rib at The Keg—my kids signed me up and I got the coupon a couple of weeks ago. An early—and traditional—Thanksgiving on Sunday so we can celebrate together as a family. Seems like a pretty strong focus on food for the next 8 days.
So I will be blogging on these challenges. If I don’t meet the challenge, if I go off of my food plan, I will deal with it, write about it and start again the next day. I will continue to call in my food plan to Gary each day, and I will keep the tools of recovery as close at hand as the list of the “voices” of my ego, psyche, subconscious, whatever I call them at any given time, those voices that tell me I’m much better off eating rather than feeling. I have learned to recognize them much faster these past four weeks, and with recognition comes choice. And I will choose….
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