Wine & Pizza

Wine  and  pizza.   This was my meal last night.  Not recommended unless you want to feel like crap 5 minutes later and immediately fall asleep on the couch.

I was of course experiencing some unpleasant feelings and sensatons in my body.  So to avoid the suffering I tried to remedy this by extinguishing the experience with food/drink. What I really did was just multiply the misery.  (Pretty smart, huh?) I missed the opportunity to obs...

Unpleasant Feelings

Binge Eating

I binge ate last night.

Five or six pieces of barbeque chicken. Three or four helpings of potato salad (large helpings). Five or six helpings of strawberry salad, and one serving of butterscotch pudding. It is now three in the morning and I am unable to sleep. I have a food hangover.  

I have been doing so well lately and last night I fell into a food binge as if I got stuck in a vortex. I felt like I could not get out until I finishe...

A Good Day

Yesterday I had a healthy day of eating. Yeah!! I stayed focused on what my mind craved and the suffering I wanted to avert. I became aware of this compulsion: I wanted to call a friend of mine and offer him a job. I could feel the compulsion to call right now and make the offer. Instead of calling, I just let myself feel the compulsion. I simply practiced feeling it without reacting. I knew the compulsion would evaporate because everything is impermanent.

Although the craving/compuls...

Ego Attachment

The EGO'S attachment to cravings and aversions to suffering: What exactly does this have to do with eating?

I have been very conscious of this phenomenon during the past week. Since I sold my two casinos, I now trade stocks for a living. When I trade stocks, typically my eating behavior becomes greatly exaggerated. I fall off the wagon and gain more weight during stock trading activities than during any other event. I have thought many times about not trading because of...

In the Moment

Yesterday would have been my ninth day in a row of successful eating. Did not make it.  Boredom crept in and I succumbed to it. I am trading stocks since I sold the casinos and that did not go well yesterday, either. That combination triggered my dormant ego and I jumped into food to quell the seemingly overwhelming emotions. I pretty much cleaned up the leftovers from the 4th of July party and then kept going with the compulsive eating. I know eno...

Sunday

Yesterday was a close call day for me. It was a Sunday afternoon and boredom crept in. When this happens, an addictive eater like myself resorts very quickly to food to quell the boredom. 

Does it work?  Oh yes, very quickly. However, it is soon replaced by much misery from eating inordinate amounts of food. 

Made It

Yesterday was the 4th of July and I survived the annual party at my home without binge eating.  Potato chips, potato salad, hot dogs, salsa, guacamole and alcohol did not enter my body on this day. Peace and harmony pervade my body this morning.   

Big Day

When I started writing "The Last Cookie Club" some 18 months ago, my intention was to discover a way for me to overcome my eating addiction. I pretty much spent the entire 18 months compulsively eating while searching for an answer. This was very discouraging.  Despite what I was learning I continued eating and eating, and of course gaining weight and barely fitting into my biggest clothes. I have eight different pant sizes in my closet and four different shirt sizes. 

Part 2

Something inside me always said, "Don't confuse me with the facts. We’re going to eat no matter what you’ve learned." This voice would allow me to partake in all these wonderful programs, let me lose enough weight so I would feel like I was in heaven with this nice slim, energetic body. Then when I got home, this inner-being would take over and I would return to voracious eating. As I’ve said, this has happened to me dozens of times. Of course people would say to me, “Don't you know that gain...

Message from the Author

I wrote this book because I have been dealing with an eating addiction for more than 35 years. I have lost a substantial amount of weight during this period, probably 20 to 25 times. Each time I lost anywhere from 30 to 70 pounds. When I am feeling overweight, my energy, attitude and plain old desire to contribute diminishes significantly.

More times than I care to remember, I’ve asked myself, “What is wrong with me? Please God, please someone, please anyone help me. Why in the world...